For the last couple of days, life has been pretty even keeled for me. I decided on Thursday to just hash it out and I finally turned it over to God. All our answers aren't things that we can answer. We have to wait. I finally feel as if I am being antsy-ly (I know that's not a word) patient. I am content in this massive holding pattern we are in.
We found out on Friday that the grant to save the deputies won't be in till late September-ish. And they are trying to get road deputies to donate work days (which means they would be on unpaid furlough days) to help save jobs. I don't think it will happen. I mean, I can't imagine too many deputies would be able to take off days of work just to save a job. Maybe it will, but I doubt it. Except for the other deputies jobs, I am really hoping it doesn't. I want to move. I REALLY want to move by the end of the month. But I just plan on letting God work it all out, cause no matter how much effort I put into it, I sure can't.
We went out to dinner after church with some friends and went to cracker barrel. LOVE that place. But they already had all the fall decorations out and it really gave me the itch to be in the north come fall. Autumn is my most favorite season. I love the sights and sounds and smells of autumn. And it never feels it in South Florida. I'm so ready to see the beautiful colors of the trees, rake leaves and jump with my boys in the hugest pile ever. Burn them and smell the crisp autumn chill with the scent of the burning leaves. I'm ready to wear sweatshirts and long sleeved tee's without breaking into a huge sweat-mess because it's autumn that's what you wear. I haven't had any coats out in at least 3 years. I'm anxious to go to an apple orchard and pick apples and go home and make apple crisp and homemade apple sauce. I'm anxious to wear a pair of gloves, use my scarves and jackets, wear a cute hat and go traipsing through a pumpkin patch and pick out several pumpkins to decorate my house with ~ not like last year when we wore shorts, a tank and flipflops to pick out our pumpkins. I am anxious to actually have to dress warm to go trick or treating. And, open windows and let the fresh air in. Bake a thanksgiving turkey and be able to step outside to cool off when it gets too hot in the kitchen.
In just a few short weeks, the desires of my heart has completely changed. I wasn't able to picture us living anywhere but South Florida 2 months ago; now, I don't know how we will ever survive. I want to feel the seasons change. I feel in my life, the long, dry hot summer is over and it's time to get on with life. I'm ready for change ~ not political change ~ life altering, emotional, change. I want to be by family and have my kids know them and them to know my kids. I want to be there when Great Gramma Berg graduates to Glory. I want my kids to know her before that happens. I want to meet my grand-nephew (or neice). I want to meet the 2 neice and nephews I have never met before. I want to be there when baby Pyne number 4 makes his appearance, and hold and cuddle him. I want to be close enough to my family to be able to drive it in a day! Or them be able to drive up and see us. I've had my summer. I've had my independence. Now's the time to be with family.
May God grant it to be so!