Saturday, December 29, 2012


After Christmas, I always feel a little down.  Then I take my Christmas decorations down (which I started to do today ~ tree is all done) and I start to get excited to look forward to the new year.  I always and excitement as I think of leaving one year behind to get to another!  And, I, like so many people, start the new year with the most wonderful intentions and usually Jan. 2nd comes around and I'm all "Resolutions?!?!  What?!?!"  Hahahaha ~ know what I mean?!

So, this year, I am tired of making the cliche, frivolous resolutions.  I did pretty good with the last year, and I am planning on doing it again.  I'm going to choose a word to work on.  My word/phrase last year was "Know" and my goal was to get to know Him better.  And, I can walk away from 2012 humbled by what I learned in my pursuit of getting to know God better.

Some of the things I walked through privately or even publicly brought me to a sweeter recognition of seeing the hand of God in my life.  I started the year in a completely broken disheveled mess.  And, I sought God.  I sought to know His heart better this year, and I'm so pleased to know that I'm ending 2012 not so broken, still pretty disheveled but the chaos of it doesn't overwhelm me as much.  I'm so glad that there came a point where I can see that when I worship ~ privately or corporately ~ that I can finally start to let Him be "the lifter of my head".  That, now the tears that flow as I worship Him come from such an overwhelming feeling of having seen His hand move in my life and an overwhelming feeling of His grace.  When I started the year, the tears would fall just simply because I was too broken to feel any of it.  I was writhing in the agony of not knowing how to connect with Him.  I was His, but somewhere along the line, I lost that "first love", I guess you could say.  And, I missed Him.  So, I determined that I would get to Know Him again.  And I'm so glad I did.

I'm so grateful for His grace that He extends to me each and every day.  I'm not perfect.  I start Bible studies and get discouraged if I "get behind" so I just let it go.  But, I'm determined to not let that stop me this year!  I'm excited to be helping lead a Bible study on Friday mornings this winter and I am joining an online Bible study.  I have started in the worship band at my church, so I only get to go to my Sunday school class every other Sunday, but I love it and can't wait to find out tomorrow what our next study will be!!

So, tomorrow, I start looking at school stuff and determining what all needs to be done this semester, try to get a workable schedule that we can stick to.  Along with some sort of chore schedule that I would love to start, I'm just not that organized to do it, unless it's idiot proof and fail proof.  Hahahaha ~ I would still find some way to fail with it, because I am just that talented!  So, bring on the New Year.  I'm ready for you, 2013!!  Because I know He is there and He knows and I can trust Him.

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