Monday, August 30, 2010

how do you say goodbye?

I know that for those who know Christ as our Saviour, it is only just a temporary goodbye. But, it still hurts so much. Christine was one of the most awesome women, mother, wife, friend, I had ever had the pleasure of knowing

Jesse and i have been married for 10 1/2 years. We weren't able to always come and visit as much as we wanted to. But for the last year, we didn't know why, but God had moved us back here. And so we got a full year with her. Which in the big picture, is not alot AT ALL.
We each got our birthday's celebrated with her. We got one Thanksgiving, one Christmas and all the in between holiday stuff with her. My boys got to spend the night at their house a few times ~ now I wish I would've had them do it more. They got to go to the fair once with gramma and grampa. She made Sunday dinner for us every week ~ and let me tell ya, there's a lot of us. We got so much out of this last year, but it just left me hungry for more.

I don't understand why God chose to take her away from us. I still have so much to learn from her.

She was an awesome cook. She was the epitome of a housewife ~ her house always immaculate. She was Proverbs 31 personified. She was so patient. She was so kind and loving. She loved her grandkids.

She always told me ~ and pretty much everyone that Jesse was her special one, her favorite. And I'm so grateful that we were here for a year. I miss her so deeply, that I cannot imagine how her children hurt. I never knew it would be so devastating to lose someone SO vital to a family. Are we strong enough to go on without her? She wouldn't have it any other way.
She lived her life for God and Heaven, and now she is with HIM. She fought a good fight, finnished her course, and kept the faith. Now there are many crowns laid up for her. She left a legacy behind. Not just one of the trivial ones. But she left me behind an example to follow. A life to emulate. She taught me to be kind, love my kids, have a relationship with God, serve others selflessly. She taught it to me not just in words, but by deeds. And I hope that one day, I can finish my course with little regrets to how I lived my life.
As my father in law has been saying ~ she was an unusual woman. She was hard for me to understand at times when I lived away. But in the past year, I got to know her and see her in a new light. And I understand somewhat those unusual ways.
But she leaves me a legacy behind. I know I can't live up to it the way she did. But she never expected me too. If I had said to her "I can't do it as you do" I know she would laughed that wonderful laugh of her's and humbly say that she doesn't do much, but that you can do only what you can do.
She never thought she was anything special. SHE WAS. And we all LOVED her. But I pray that, as she is now a part of that great cloud of witnesses, that I may live life, no, not to honor her because she would be angry about that, but that I may live my life to honor HIM who she served. She taught me that ~ honor God and the rest will take care of itself.
So, as today starts 2 very long HARD days of goodbyes, I would just like to say for the record. We miss her and her influence. But we hope we can honor her, by honoring God.


Marisa said...

What a beautiful post! She sounds amazing!!! Nothing better than having those kinds of people to have been a part of our lives. The immense amount of things we learn from just watching them is wonderful!

Praying for you and your family these next couple of days sooo hard! I have NO idea how people deal with these thing without God! Its hard enough when you know where they are and that you will see them again! Praying for comfort!!

According to Kris... said...

Tara-beautiful post-it made me cry! I'm sorry for you loss. May God give a peace that passes all understanding during this heartbreaking time.