Since I've posted another blog!!!!!! I truly doubt I have many readers who sit on the edge of their seats just WAITING for me to blog about my interesting life!
Anywho.....
I have been quite busy lately.
Last weekend, we pulled off a grand surprise party for my inlaws birthdays (their 60th) and we actually did surprise them! Which according to many around here that is a feat!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It was so much fun. A TON of work, and even more $$$$$$$$$, but I so enjoy doing things like that! And it makes it great when it is appreciated!!!!
Also, I started with some of my lovely friends from South FLorida, a Bible study called "Lies Women Believe and the Truth that Sets Them Free". It is totally AWESOME. There are so many things I am learning. The most radical thing I have learned in just the first 3 chapters is that ~ "we will ALWAYS have unfulfilled longings this side of heaven." I seriously had never heard that taught before by any teacher or preacher in any church. If I had I truly don't recognize it. This truth just totally makes me look back on my life and realize that when I had longings throughoutmy life, I kept looking for ways to fulfill those needs and I realize that there were just some things that couldn't be filled. I always begged God to show me how to "fix" whatever problems it was, but I never fully turned to HIM and begged HIM to BE the fulfillment of that need. I have realized that there will always be a void in some form or another in my life and I have to ........."train" myself to look to God to fill those voids, and become content and comfortable with those voids. And make sure that I turn to HIM to fulfill the deepest needs of my heart.
Anyways, I just HAD to share that with someone! I shared on my fb page, but it was so radical that I can't wait to just tell people about it!!!!!
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Saturday, March 27, 2010
A lot accomplished
Or, so it seems. To most, people would probably laugh at why I feel like I accomplished so much. But, my productivity level lately has been so low, that I just feel pleased with what I got done ~ I got my kitchen mostly cleaned (didn't sweep or mop) some laundry done, errands ran, and ........................Well, wow, now that I'm typing it, I guess I really didn't get hardly anything done. But, while Xavier was away at youth group ~ Gunner, Tucker and I got to sit on the recliner snuggled under a warm blanket watching some nature shows and we all 3 took a little cat nap, so maybe that accounts for the satisfied accomplished feeling ~ I got my nap in!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
We are in the process of considering moving some things around in our house. Maybe moving into the boys bedroom, and them into ours. It would be a nice change, seeing as I think both Jesse and I are just getting an itch to move! Right now, we are living cheaply and so, able to pay off some bills that we had run up while living in South Florida ~ cause it weren't cheap living there. So, we'd like to stay in our apt. for as long as possible and live as cheaply as possible until we are completely solvent, then move when we can!!!!!!!!! Although, I really like our apt, even though it is small, it is cozy. AND, if we move our rooms around, I'm thinking we might be able to move a couple more pieces of furniture down and utilize them more, which means MORE STORAGE SPACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So, I guess we shall see.
One of my favorite hobby's is scrapbooking. I'll admit, I'm not the greatest at it, but I find it cathartic, but since we moved here, I have been unable to do any of it, but now that we are starting to settle in here and get some semblance of organization, I'm thinking I need to start scrapbooking again. I am setting a goal of starting on Friday. So I MUST have all my other house work done, so I can work on it after Jesse leaves for work. And maybe, just maybe I can get some accomplished, cause I have Ideas galore about how to do it, and not have to worry about packing it all away when I'm done, but we'll just have to see how that works out.
So, anyways...............I must get some more stuff done! TaTa!
We are in the process of considering moving some things around in our house. Maybe moving into the boys bedroom, and them into ours. It would be a nice change, seeing as I think both Jesse and I are just getting an itch to move! Right now, we are living cheaply and so, able to pay off some bills that we had run up while living in South Florida ~ cause it weren't cheap living there. So, we'd like to stay in our apt. for as long as possible and live as cheaply as possible until we are completely solvent, then move when we can!!!!!!!!! Although, I really like our apt, even though it is small, it is cozy. AND, if we move our rooms around, I'm thinking we might be able to move a couple more pieces of furniture down and utilize them more, which means MORE STORAGE SPACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So, I guess we shall see.
One of my favorite hobby's is scrapbooking. I'll admit, I'm not the greatest at it, but I find it cathartic, but since we moved here, I have been unable to do any of it, but now that we are starting to settle in here and get some semblance of organization, I'm thinking I need to start scrapbooking again. I am setting a goal of starting on Friday. So I MUST have all my other house work done, so I can work on it after Jesse leaves for work. And maybe, just maybe I can get some accomplished, cause I have Ideas galore about how to do it, and not have to worry about packing it all away when I'm done, but we'll just have to see how that works out.
So, anyways...............I must get some more stuff done! TaTa!
Monday, March 22, 2010
Today:
I have this sinus stuff going on, and I haven't been feeling my best so I did almost nothing today. I got around to the dishes ~ which, if you read my previous posts, I consider that an accomplishment! But I didn't do what I really wanted to today.
Jesse and I started doing P90x. He loves it. He's all motto and all that and is just ridiculous about it. I have a love/hate relationship with it. I hate doing it, but love when it's done. But, I'll be honest, I haven't really given it my all. BUT, I can see some improvement. Which Jesse says (i'll paraphrase) to start exercising when you're a fat lazy slug, you will DEFINITELY see results. Don't get all up in arms. He was a great completely PC husband and never used the words fat lazy slug, but once it went past my ear drums, that is how my brain processed it for the simple fact that I have to tell myself that to even do this program HALFWAY!
So, anyhow, I was a sick dog ~ well, not really, just sinus stuff that made my head all full and gave me a massive pressure headache, then my arms got all achy and my legs, but I PROMISE. I didn't just slack off from them today. I was really hurtin'. but I plan (I mean, I will) do them tomorrow, and I will try my hardest to do better than half way. Maybe 3/4. I mean, heck, I'm seeing some pretty good results for giving less than 50% :D
Anyways ~ I started up late doing something last night that I usually only reserve for tremendously boring evenings (you know the kind, internets down, dvd player won't work, and all channels but this one won't get the right signals)I watched the healthcare debates on CSpan. And sometimes flipped back to FoxNews during the actually votes, cause I really don't like elevator music when I'm in an elevator let alone willing enduring it! So, I watched, and I just couldn't help myself but yell at the tv or clap at appropriate times.
John Boehner did an awesome job with his speech and some of the other Repubs who I caught making their speeches. They made me proud to call myself a Republican again. I've been quite an armchair ..................can't really call myself an activist, unless you can call yelling at stupid politicians who can't hear me through the tv activism. So it inspired me to become more involved other than making a few phone calls or emails every now and then. I need to become more involved in my country. The direction that my country is going is hardly my fault, but mostly my fault. I've been complacent. My philosophy has been, what does it matter in the end, cause, I'm gonna end up in heaven. But, if what is happening in my country causes me to fret, toss and turn, and my blood pressure to shoot up to unhealthy levels, then, maybe, just maybe if I do a little bit more, I can sleep better at night and know that what I've done is all I can do. So, I'm gonna be more involved. I don't know how, yet. I don't know what I'll do. But I want to do something more than be a lazy screamer at the tv. That way, if my country goes down the tubes, I won't have to wonder "what if I would've just got a little more involved".
So, on other fronts, Xav enjoyed a week off from school. Tucker enjoyed having Xav off from school. They pretty much played outside all week cause it was wonderful SPRING-y weather (woohoo). And Gunner pretty much cried all week wanting so badly to be outside playing with his brothers. So, yep, I was going a little bit crazy!!!!
Saturday night, Jesse worked his shift and pulled a double working the next shift on Sunday morning. He was EXHAUSTED and still is and he is working tonight (his regular night off) and pulling a double shift tomorrow ~ another night off. he'll be getting almost 40 hours of overtime this week which, let me just tell you is NI-HI-HI-HI-HICE (NICE). Which will go a ways in our goal of trying to get out of debt in a year-ish!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Anywho.............I gots to get the other 2 guys in bed for the night so TA TA~~
Jesse and I started doing P90x. He loves it. He's all motto and all that and is just ridiculous about it. I have a love/hate relationship with it. I hate doing it, but love when it's done. But, I'll be honest, I haven't really given it my all. BUT, I can see some improvement. Which Jesse says (i'll paraphrase) to start exercising when you're a fat lazy slug, you will DEFINITELY see results. Don't get all up in arms. He was a great completely PC husband and never used the words fat lazy slug, but once it went past my ear drums, that is how my brain processed it for the simple fact that I have to tell myself that to even do this program HALFWAY!
So, anyhow, I was a sick dog ~ well, not really, just sinus stuff that made my head all full and gave me a massive pressure headache, then my arms got all achy and my legs, but I PROMISE. I didn't just slack off from them today. I was really hurtin'. but I plan (I mean, I will) do them tomorrow, and I will try my hardest to do better than half way. Maybe 3/4. I mean, heck, I'm seeing some pretty good results for giving less than 50% :D
Anyways ~ I started up late doing something last night that I usually only reserve for tremendously boring evenings (you know the kind, internets down, dvd player won't work, and all channels but this one won't get the right signals)I watched the healthcare debates on CSpan. And sometimes flipped back to FoxNews during the actually votes, cause I really don't like elevator music when I'm in an elevator let alone willing enduring it! So, I watched, and I just couldn't help myself but yell at the tv or clap at appropriate times.
John Boehner did an awesome job with his speech and some of the other Repubs who I caught making their speeches. They made me proud to call myself a Republican again. I've been quite an armchair ..................can't really call myself an activist, unless you can call yelling at stupid politicians who can't hear me through the tv activism. So it inspired me to become more involved other than making a few phone calls or emails every now and then. I need to become more involved in my country. The direction that my country is going is hardly my fault, but mostly my fault. I've been complacent. My philosophy has been, what does it matter in the end, cause, I'm gonna end up in heaven. But, if what is happening in my country causes me to fret, toss and turn, and my blood pressure to shoot up to unhealthy levels, then, maybe, just maybe if I do a little bit more, I can sleep better at night and know that what I've done is all I can do. So, I'm gonna be more involved. I don't know how, yet. I don't know what I'll do. But I want to do something more than be a lazy screamer at the tv. That way, if my country goes down the tubes, I won't have to wonder "what if I would've just got a little more involved".
So, on other fronts, Xav enjoyed a week off from school. Tucker enjoyed having Xav off from school. They pretty much played outside all week cause it was wonderful SPRING-y weather (woohoo). And Gunner pretty much cried all week wanting so badly to be outside playing with his brothers. So, yep, I was going a little bit crazy!!!!
Saturday night, Jesse worked his shift and pulled a double working the next shift on Sunday morning. He was EXHAUSTED and still is and he is working tonight (his regular night off) and pulling a double shift tomorrow ~ another night off. he'll be getting almost 40 hours of overtime this week which, let me just tell you is NI-HI-HI-HI-HICE (NICE). Which will go a ways in our goal of trying to get out of debt in a year-ish!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Anywho.............I gots to get the other 2 guys in bed for the night so TA TA~~
Saturday, March 6, 2010
Things I hate
My most loathed chore around the house is ~ doing dishes. I truly miss my dishwasher ~ He's at work today ;) Just kidding ~ Well, Jesse is at work, but I miss my dishwasher appliance.
Don't get me wrong, I miss Jesse when he's working. But today, I have a backed up pile of dishes and I am just sitting here watching tv with Gunner and the other 2 are playing video games. So instead of just doing them, I am dreadfully anticipating the actual doing of them! Do you have a chore like that? The rest of them, are neither here nor there, just a nuisance, but I can't stand dishes. I would love to be able to pay someone to come and do my dishes. The rest of the house, I will take care of, but dishes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Anywho, enough of my complaining about housework ~ I'll complain about how fast my baby is growing up.
Lately Gunner has been wanting to sit at the table to eat with the rest of us, and not in his highchair. So I bought him a booster seat last night. It's so sad cause he's my baby :') and he shouldn't be that big yet. But he is.
So, I've decided that I haven't been doing very good with my Bible memory here the past few months, so I've decided that I'm gonna start today. And I'm gonna start with verses that apply to different issues I'm facing in my life. Right now, I'm starting on verses that deal with something I hate about my self. Anger. I get angry easily, so I decided to stop trying to change it myself, and realized that I have never truly laid it down at the foot of the cross. So I woke up this morning determined not to pick it back up as the day goes along. Gotta just keep that in my mind! Then my next set of verses are gonna be about contentment. I'm not a very content person, so I have a few things that I have to work on!
So, even though I hate to, gotta sign off for now, and get busy on my chores today ~ hated or not!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Don't get me wrong, I miss Jesse when he's working. But today, I have a backed up pile of dishes and I am just sitting here watching tv with Gunner and the other 2 are playing video games. So instead of just doing them, I am dreadfully anticipating the actual doing of them! Do you have a chore like that? The rest of them, are neither here nor there, just a nuisance, but I can't stand dishes. I would love to be able to pay someone to come and do my dishes. The rest of the house, I will take care of, but dishes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Anywho, enough of my complaining about housework ~ I'll complain about how fast my baby is growing up.
Lately Gunner has been wanting to sit at the table to eat with the rest of us, and not in his highchair. So I bought him a booster seat last night. It's so sad cause he's my baby :') and he shouldn't be that big yet. But he is.
So, I've decided that I haven't been doing very good with my Bible memory here the past few months, so I've decided that I'm gonna start today. And I'm gonna start with verses that apply to different issues I'm facing in my life. Right now, I'm starting on verses that deal with something I hate about my self. Anger. I get angry easily, so I decided to stop trying to change it myself, and realized that I have never truly laid it down at the foot of the cross. So I woke up this morning determined not to pick it back up as the day goes along. Gotta just keep that in my mind! Then my next set of verses are gonna be about contentment. I'm not a very content person, so I have a few things that I have to work on!
So, even though I hate to, gotta sign off for now, and get busy on my chores today ~ hated or not!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
What are your favorite songs
to sing to your little ones?
I have so many! Each of mine have a song just for them. Some are plagariazed and add their names to them. Some are made up. And others I just love to sing to them!
This is the one that got me thinking about this. I always sing it to Gunner while I'm cleaning his nose out, or wiping it, or if he's just being one:
Boogers boogers in my nose
Boogers in between my toes
Boogers, boogers in my hair
Boogers boogers everywhere!
At bedtime, I made up a song that I then added a disney song to
Good night my love
I'll see you in the morning
Sweet dreams to you
The whole night through
Good Night, Good Night My loves
(and add the "Rainbow" Song {as Tucker calls it})
A dream is a wish your heart makes
when you're fast asleep
In dreams you can lose your heartaches
Whatever you wish for you keep.
Have faith in your dreams and someday
Your Rainbows will come smiling through
No matter how your heart is grieving
If you keep on believing
A dream that you wish will come True.
Xavier's song is Thank you Lord
Thank you Lord for Xavier my son
Thank you Lord for this little one
Thank you Lord so Precious to me
I'll be the best Mom that I can be
Tucker's is (people from where I went to college should know this tune)
I love you Tucker Jay
Oh, yes I do
I don't love anyone
Like I love you
When you're not with me
I'm blue
Oh, Tucker Jay I love you
and the alternate one for Tuck is because of his nickname Tucker Duck:
Tucker Ducky, you're the one
You make my bath time so much fun.
Tucker Ducky we're awfully fond of you
Tucker Ducky, you're the one
You make my life time lots of fun
Tucker Ducky we're awfully fond of YOU!
And Gunner's song is one I made up:
Gunner Ethan is our Guy
Gunner Ethan is our Guy
Gunner Ethan is our Guy
He's our guy born in July
Gunner Ethan is our Guy!
And of course I love to sing tons of other songs with them ~ mostly songs we learned at camps or VBS or in school!
Songs are just so fun! My favorite all time little kid song we learned at Junior camp this year: Cast your burdens, upon Jesus, He cares for You. Just a cute song with about a gazillion verses that are equally cute! I love to hear kids sing, so sometimes I force my guys to just sing for me. And they love it when I have the cd's going in my truck, they sing along and it is encouraging to me to hear my guys sing songs and begin to grasp the messages of them. My favorite that I love to hear them sing in the car is on my blog playlist ~ Voice of Truth by Casting Crowns. It is also one of my faves of all! IT's a good'un.
Well, I must sign off for the night. I wasn't a very motivated cleaner of the house today, so I need to try to get something done before Jesse gets home from work tonight!
Peace, love and blessings!♪♪♫♫♪♪
I have so many! Each of mine have a song just for them. Some are plagariazed and add their names to them. Some are made up. And others I just love to sing to them!
This is the one that got me thinking about this. I always sing it to Gunner while I'm cleaning his nose out, or wiping it, or if he's just being one:
Boogers boogers in my nose
Boogers in between my toes
Boogers, boogers in my hair
Boogers boogers everywhere!
At bedtime, I made up a song that I then added a disney song to
Good night my love
I'll see you in the morning
Sweet dreams to you
The whole night through
Good Night, Good Night My loves
(and add the "Rainbow" Song {as Tucker calls it})
A dream is a wish your heart makes
when you're fast asleep
In dreams you can lose your heartaches
Whatever you wish for you keep.
Have faith in your dreams and someday
Your Rainbows will come smiling through
No matter how your heart is grieving
If you keep on believing
A dream that you wish will come True.
Xavier's song is Thank you Lord
Thank you Lord for Xavier my son
Thank you Lord for this little one
Thank you Lord so Precious to me
I'll be the best Mom that I can be
Tucker's is (people from where I went to college should know this tune)
I love you Tucker Jay
Oh, yes I do
I don't love anyone
Like I love you
When you're not with me
I'm blue
Oh, Tucker Jay I love you
and the alternate one for Tuck is because of his nickname Tucker Duck:
Tucker Ducky, you're the one
You make my bath time so much fun.
Tucker Ducky we're awfully fond of you
Tucker Ducky, you're the one
You make my life time lots of fun
Tucker Ducky we're awfully fond of YOU!
And Gunner's song is one I made up:
Gunner Ethan is our Guy
Gunner Ethan is our Guy
Gunner Ethan is our Guy
He's our guy born in July
Gunner Ethan is our Guy!
And of course I love to sing tons of other songs with them ~ mostly songs we learned at camps or VBS or in school!
Songs are just so fun! My favorite all time little kid song we learned at Junior camp this year: Cast your burdens, upon Jesus, He cares for You. Just a cute song with about a gazillion verses that are equally cute! I love to hear kids sing, so sometimes I force my guys to just sing for me. And they love it when I have the cd's going in my truck, they sing along and it is encouraging to me to hear my guys sing songs and begin to grasp the messages of them. My favorite that I love to hear them sing in the car is on my blog playlist ~ Voice of Truth by Casting Crowns. It is also one of my faves of all! IT's a good'un.
Well, I must sign off for the night. I wasn't a very motivated cleaner of the house today, so I need to try to get something done before Jesse gets home from work tonight!
Peace, love and blessings!♪♪♫♫♪♪
Friday, February 26, 2010
As I assume.......
most of my readers are mostly women, and mostly moms.
So, this kinda goes along with my last post ~
What is the one verse you find yourself quoting to your children the most? And what is the verse you cling to as a mom?
The first question is an easy one for me ~
Ephesians 4:32
And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.
I find too often that kids can just plain be MEAN. And it is a verse I often find myself quoting to remind me to be kind to my little guys. It's one of the first verses that the guys memorize.
There are so many parts to it ~ it emphasizes I think all aspects of life ~ Doing good and being kind to others, keeping your heart soft and open, no matter what, forgiving when others have wronged you, and in brief outlines salvation. The way I explain that to my little men is that God models this behaviour to uss all. But HE doesn't have to. And HE doesn't do it for us or because of who we are or how we live. HE is kind, tenderhearted and forgiving because of Christ's sacrifice on the cross. And if God can forgive us for having caused Christ's death, then why can't we forgive our friend for saying something mean to us, and continuing to be kind and not say mean things back. I love this verse for little ones. But I also love it for me in every aspect of my life. But it is a HARD verse to live!
The next verse that I cling to as a mom is a little more difficult to pinpoint. But, I like I Thes. 5:24
Faithful is he that calleth you, who also will do it.
I will be the first and the fastest to admit that I am not the best mom out there. I don't think I would even qualify myself as a good mom. I'm okay, and that's all I will admit to. My kids, claim different, but they don't see all my faults. and they are kids after all!!!!!!!!!
But, I believe with all my heart that being a mom (I say especially to little boys, but in no way belittling mothering girls!) is a pretty tough job. But I further believe that being a true God-fearing Christian mom, is even tougher. And I see it as a calling. And when I get discouraged about how horrible of a mom I am and can't understand why God, in HIS infinite wisdom and judgement, allowed 3 sweet little souls to entrusted to MY care, this verse speaks to me. HE never gives us more than we can handle. And as long as I look to HIM for wisdom, mercy and grace, HE will be faithful to keep me going on. HE's the one who knows who I am that NOBODY else knows and what I can and can't handle. HE's faithful and HE will do it ~ if I let HIM work through me, HE will be the one that raises my children. I'm just the tool. I'm just the vessel.
And I'll admit, sometimes ~ a lot of times ~ I forget that and try to do everything on my own and that is when I get discouraged and downhearted and don't feel worthy of these sweet little beings. And then I come across this verse (or the many like it in the Bible) and get refreshed and renewed knowing that HE called me to be my 3 guys' mom and that HE will do it through me!
So...................... what are you're verses?
So, this kinda goes along with my last post ~
What is the one verse you find yourself quoting to your children the most? And what is the verse you cling to as a mom?
The first question is an easy one for me ~
Ephesians 4:32
And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.
I find too often that kids can just plain be MEAN. And it is a verse I often find myself quoting to remind me to be kind to my little guys. It's one of the first verses that the guys memorize.
There are so many parts to it ~ it emphasizes I think all aspects of life ~ Doing good and being kind to others, keeping your heart soft and open, no matter what, forgiving when others have wronged you, and in brief outlines salvation. The way I explain that to my little men is that God models this behaviour to uss all. But HE doesn't have to. And HE doesn't do it for us or because of who we are or how we live. HE is kind, tenderhearted and forgiving because of Christ's sacrifice on the cross. And if God can forgive us for having caused Christ's death, then why can't we forgive our friend for saying something mean to us, and continuing to be kind and not say mean things back. I love this verse for little ones. But I also love it for me in every aspect of my life. But it is a HARD verse to live!
The next verse that I cling to as a mom is a little more difficult to pinpoint. But, I like I Thes. 5:24
Faithful is he that calleth you, who also will do it.
I will be the first and the fastest to admit that I am not the best mom out there. I don't think I would even qualify myself as a good mom. I'm okay, and that's all I will admit to. My kids, claim different, but they don't see all my faults. and they are kids after all!!!!!!!!!
But, I believe with all my heart that being a mom (I say especially to little boys, but in no way belittling mothering girls!) is a pretty tough job. But I further believe that being a true God-fearing Christian mom, is even tougher. And I see it as a calling. And when I get discouraged about how horrible of a mom I am and can't understand why God, in HIS infinite wisdom and judgement, allowed 3 sweet little souls to entrusted to MY care, this verse speaks to me. HE never gives us more than we can handle. And as long as I look to HIM for wisdom, mercy and grace, HE will be faithful to keep me going on. HE's the one who knows who I am that NOBODY else knows and what I can and can't handle. HE's faithful and HE will do it ~ if I let HIM work through me, HE will be the one that raises my children. I'm just the tool. I'm just the vessel.
And I'll admit, sometimes ~ a lot of times ~ I forget that and try to do everything on my own and that is when I get discouraged and downhearted and don't feel worthy of these sweet little beings. And then I come across this verse (or the many like it in the Bible) and get refreshed and renewed knowing that HE called me to be my 3 guys' mom and that HE will do it through me!
So...................... what are you're verses?
Saturday, February 20, 2010
thoughts for today
I know I don't have many readers, but I still want to hear those of you who do ~
What are your marriage verses?
Today, I have been married 10 years and a day! And like I said in my last blog post, there have been many ups and downs. The biggest challenge that our marriage has survived, I would probably say, is when I had my stroke.
I COULDN'T remember anything about my life. I woke up to the face of a man I didn't know. I looked in a mirror and couldn't remember my name. I COULDN'T REMEMBER ANYTHING.
How scary is that. It was uber scary. It was hard for Jesse to hear the E.R. doc say that I just had a break with reality and was just insane (clinically insane). No other tests, just wanted to committ me to a state mental facility. SCARY.
Scary for Jesse to check me out of the hospital AMA and the next day, the ONLY thing he could do was put me on an airplane by myself to my parents. He couldn't go with me ~ he was still in Marine Corps MOS training and they wouldn't let him leave or live off base. He couldn't let me live by myself in my house, so he had to just totally trust God and get me back to my parents. And it was weird and scary for me.
Scary, knowing that more than likely he wouldn't see me for months and worrying how that would affect our relationship. Not that it mattered to me, I didn't remember so I was weirdly glad to go. Then it was awkard and weird as I walked past my own mother in the airport, hearing someone (my mom) yelling a name (mine) down the terminal and just thinking hope she finds whoever. Well, she did and it was me!
Weird living with people I didn't know. I pretty much stayed in the room they let me stay in.
I cannot even begin to explain everything I went through.
All I know is that I didn't want to stay married to someone I didn't know or who even made the effort to get to know the apparently "new" me. At one point ~ I told him I was done, and that I was securing an attorney to end this disaster of a WEIRD marriage and free him. By this time, we had just found out I was pregnant with Xavier. My pastor's wife at the time ~ such a Godsent blessing she was for me, she didn't know who I "used" to be, therefore, just accepted who I was then ~ she prayed with and for me so much and just encouraged me to just seek God.
So it was after I told Jesse I was done, that Jesse told me, Okay, but I will always be there to take care of you and the baby. He's such an awesome man. I was so mean and nasty and cruel to him and he just loved me and tried his best to keep up a brave face and be supportive of WHATEVER I wanted. But, he was going to uphold his vows ~ for better for worse, in sickness and in health. I will always love him for that.
But I was reading my Bible one night in Ephesians and I found the verses that encouraged me to stay married to this stranger to me. Which the first verse is our wedding anniversary!
Eph. 2:19-22
Now therefore ye are no more strangers and foreigners, but fellowcitizens with the saints, and of the household of God; And are built upon the foundation of the apostles and prophets, Jesus Christ himself being the chief corner stone; In whom all the building fitly framed together groweth unto an holy temple in the Lord: In whom ye also are builded together for an habitation of God through the Spirit.
We weren't strangers ~ in Christ, we are of the same household of God. And as such, we ~ Jesse and I and our marriage ~ were put together by HIM. And as such, it didn't matter what happened to us, God put us together and as long as we kept HIM the chief cornerstone, our marriage was fitly framed together to be an Holy habitation for HIM. That through us, HE might get all the praise and glory and Honor HE so richly deserves.
We are far from perfect, but we get each other and that is all that counts! But I am so thankful for God giving me those verses (which are GREATLY out of context for marriage to anyone but me ;) ). And I am ever so grateful for a loving, kind, faithful-to-his-vows husband that he has been!
So ................... what are your marriage verses?!
What are your marriage verses?
Today, I have been married 10 years and a day! And like I said in my last blog post, there have been many ups and downs. The biggest challenge that our marriage has survived, I would probably say, is when I had my stroke.
I COULDN'T remember anything about my life. I woke up to the face of a man I didn't know. I looked in a mirror and couldn't remember my name. I COULDN'T REMEMBER ANYTHING.
How scary is that. It was uber scary. It was hard for Jesse to hear the E.R. doc say that I just had a break with reality and was just insane (clinically insane). No other tests, just wanted to committ me to a state mental facility. SCARY.
Scary for Jesse to check me out of the hospital AMA and the next day, the ONLY thing he could do was put me on an airplane by myself to my parents. He couldn't go with me ~ he was still in Marine Corps MOS training and they wouldn't let him leave or live off base. He couldn't let me live by myself in my house, so he had to just totally trust God and get me back to my parents. And it was weird and scary for me.
Scary, knowing that more than likely he wouldn't see me for months and worrying how that would affect our relationship. Not that it mattered to me, I didn't remember so I was weirdly glad to go. Then it was awkard and weird as I walked past my own mother in the airport, hearing someone (my mom) yelling a name (mine) down the terminal and just thinking hope she finds whoever. Well, she did and it was me!
Weird living with people I didn't know. I pretty much stayed in the room they let me stay in.
I cannot even begin to explain everything I went through.
All I know is that I didn't want to stay married to someone I didn't know or who even made the effort to get to know the apparently "new" me. At one point ~ I told him I was done, and that I was securing an attorney to end this disaster of a WEIRD marriage and free him. By this time, we had just found out I was pregnant with Xavier. My pastor's wife at the time ~ such a Godsent blessing she was for me, she didn't know who I "used" to be, therefore, just accepted who I was then ~ she prayed with and for me so much and just encouraged me to just seek God.
So it was after I told Jesse I was done, that Jesse told me, Okay, but I will always be there to take care of you and the baby. He's such an awesome man. I was so mean and nasty and cruel to him and he just loved me and tried his best to keep up a brave face and be supportive of WHATEVER I wanted. But, he was going to uphold his vows ~ for better for worse, in sickness and in health. I will always love him for that.
But I was reading my Bible one night in Ephesians and I found the verses that encouraged me to stay married to this stranger to me. Which the first verse is our wedding anniversary!
Eph. 2:19-22
Now therefore ye are no more strangers and foreigners, but fellowcitizens with the saints, and of the household of God; And are built upon the foundation of the apostles and prophets, Jesus Christ himself being the chief corner stone; In whom all the building fitly framed together groweth unto an holy temple in the Lord: In whom ye also are builded together for an habitation of God through the Spirit.
We weren't strangers ~ in Christ, we are of the same household of God. And as such, we ~ Jesse and I and our marriage ~ were put together by HIM. And as such, it didn't matter what happened to us, God put us together and as long as we kept HIM the chief cornerstone, our marriage was fitly framed together to be an Holy habitation for HIM. That through us, HE might get all the praise and glory and Honor HE so richly deserves.
We are far from perfect, but we get each other and that is all that counts! But I am so thankful for God giving me those verses (which are GREATLY out of context for marriage to anyone but me ;) ). And I am ever so grateful for a loving, kind, faithful-to-his-vows husband that he has been!
So ................... what are your marriage verses?!
Thursday, February 18, 2010
So, do you know where you were 10 years ago?
I DO!!!!!!!! That's right, I was at my wedding rehearsal (get it, I DO!) ;)
There was this horrible blizzard. People were driving in from NY and from Indiana and from Wisconsin. And alot couldn't make it. Jesse's roomate from College Clifton Lewis was supposed to be a groomsman and he couldn't make it. Jesse's aunt and uncles and grandmother was supposed to be driving in from NY, but Gramma got ill and they had to turn around. AND IT WAS COLD AND SNOWY! My sister barely made it from Wisconsin. The night before, Jesse's best man and groomsman (his 2 best friends growing up) were flying in and the weather was awful so they got diverted or they were put on a different airline or something so Jeff and Matt were wandering in O'Hare and Jesse and seth couldn't find them! Who gets married in winter anyways!
But it was fun! I had a grand time. And it was beautiful.
My theme was simple ~ I loved the Kim Anderson figures, so that was my cake topper, toasting glasses, cake knife and where I gotthe idea for my colors.
My colors were silver black and red. The groomsmen, fathers, and ushers were in Black tux's with silver ties, vests and red rose boutinierres (sp?). My bridesmaids wore black velvet tops with a simple silver skirt and carried single red roses.
I'm a musician, so I had that little detail planned out ~ way in advance. I made the pianist a book and put in it every song I wanted played in the prelude, processional specials and recessionals. The mothers walked in on Brians Song (the one from the movie of the football star), the bridesmaids walked in to Anne's theme (from Anne of Green Gables) and I of course to the bridal march. I had 3 songs sung in the wedding. From this Moment ~ friends of ours sang it. Jesse and I sang Jim Brickman's Destiny ( :') ) and I wrote a song and sang it to Jesse!
It was a VERY lovely wedding.
The reception was done in TONS of white icicle lights and was just a cake and punch reception. We wanted it to be SHORT. But we were requested to open gifts before we left which TOTALLY dragggggggggggggggggged it out. So, unlike what we wanted to , we didn't get to leave till around 10:30ish pm. YUCK. but oh, well!
Looking back at pictures of where we were back then ~ skinny scrawny "babies" to where we are now, it makes me smile. It's been a very rough 10 years. Lots has happened. Mostly good things, some not so good. But I am so thankful for all those steps ~ sure and steady, to the unstable and scary.
And here we are 10 years later. Still together. Still like (let alone, LOVE) each other. Not as young or inexperienced or green as we once were, but older and hopefully a little wiser and able to roll with the punches a little better.
10 years is a long time ~ we've been married for a stinkin' DECADE. WOW! But what's even more amazing is that I can't wait to be married to him for another 10 decades!!!!!!!!!! Oh, how I love him. I'm very grateful that he chose to marry me!
My friend, the one I laugh with, live for, dream with, love.
There was this horrible blizzard. People were driving in from NY and from Indiana and from Wisconsin. And alot couldn't make it. Jesse's roomate from College Clifton Lewis was supposed to be a groomsman and he couldn't make it. Jesse's aunt and uncles and grandmother was supposed to be driving in from NY, but Gramma got ill and they had to turn around. AND IT WAS COLD AND SNOWY! My sister barely made it from Wisconsin. The night before, Jesse's best man and groomsman (his 2 best friends growing up) were flying in and the weather was awful so they got diverted or they were put on a different airline or something so Jeff and Matt were wandering in O'Hare and Jesse and seth couldn't find them! Who gets married in winter anyways!
But it was fun! I had a grand time. And it was beautiful. My theme was simple ~ I loved the Kim Anderson figures, so that was my cake topper, toasting glasses, cake knife and where I gotthe idea for my colors.
My colors were silver black and red. The groomsmen, fathers, and ushers were in Black tux's with silver ties, vests and red rose boutinierres (sp?). My bridesmaids wore black velvet tops with a simple silver skirt and carried single red roses.
I'm a musician, so I had that little detail planned out ~ way in advance. I made the pianist a book and put in it every song I wanted played in the prelude, processional specials and recessionals. The mothers walked in on Brians Song (the one from the movie of the football star), the bridesmaids walked in to Anne's theme (from Anne of Green Gables) and I of course to the bridal march. I had 3 songs sung in the wedding. From this Moment ~ friends of ours sang it. Jesse and I sang Jim Brickman's Destiny ( :') ) and I wrote a song and sang it to Jesse!
It was a VERY lovely wedding.
The reception was done in TONS of white icicle lights and was just a cake and punch reception. We wanted it to be SHORT. But we were requested to open gifts before we left which TOTALLY dragggggggggggggggggged it out. So, unlike what we wanted to , we didn't get to leave till around 10:30ish pm. YUCK. but oh, well!
Looking back at pictures of where we were back then ~ skinny scrawny "babies" to where we are now, it makes me smile. It's been a very rough 10 years. Lots has happened. Mostly good things, some not so good. But I am so thankful for all those steps ~ sure and steady, to the unstable and scary.
And here we are 10 years later. Still together. Still like (let alone, LOVE) each other. Not as young or inexperienced or green as we once were, but older and hopefully a little wiser and able to roll with the punches a little better.
10 years is a long time ~ we've been married for a stinkin' DECADE. WOW! But what's even more amazing is that I can't wait to be married to him for another 10 decades!!!!!!!!!! Oh, how I love him. I'm very grateful that he chose to marry me!
My friend, the one I laugh with, live for, dream with, love.
Saturday, February 6, 2010
Saturday Evening Post
No, seriously, this is a post on this Saturday Evening :D
You know, it seems like we are always so busy, but then we get to the end of the week and look back, and see that it doesn't seem like ANYTHING got done! Such a horrible feeling, but that's life.
I've decided I was gonna get on some sort of schedule. To include menu's and cleaning! And I think if I have my checklist checked off ~ be it a physical list or mental to do list ~ I think that just MAYBE I will feel a little more successful in my day in day out life.
There's so much that I have to post about, but at this moment am unable to do so, whether it be from lack of time, or that it's a private family matter. I just want so badly to be able to just blog about it all! But, maybe in time, things will work themselves out.
We are doing good. Jesse is enjoying his job, but doesn't feel as fulfilled in it as he would like to be. He truly misses being a "real cop" (his words, not mine). But, doesn't mind the job he has as it's a job, and he pretty much gets to watch tv and get paid to do so! He is by all means not complaining about actually having a job! I told him the other day as I finally got him to help me get some cleaning going in the house that since I know what he does all evening, I don't feel bad one iota to ask him to wash a dish or two! Man, does he ever have a great job! I sure do wish I could log my tv time and get paid for it!!!! J/K. I wouldn't make much these days!
Xavier is doing well in school. He can't wait to be done, but what kid can!!!!
Tucker is dreading the thought of school next year. So I think it may just be a struggle with him. I'm considering taking him to the doctor and asking about speech therapy as we have been working with him and can't quite seem to get him to pronounce his words like he should. He gets quite frustrated with us, and sometimes I hate pushing him that hard. But know I have to. Which is why it would be great to get him in therapy.
Gunner, boy, is that kid a pistol. I told him that the other day, and wise guy Xav said And that's why his name is Gunner. *Epiphany* Crap, I did this to my kid! You know they say that kids grow into their names. I wasn't fully expecting that! His first name and middle initial is Gunner E. As in Gunnery Sgt. I hoped that would be a good ........uh, er,......... omen (? ~ not really that superstitious) for a future military career, but apparently, it just means that he's going to be a handful and full of energy while young!!!!!!!! He wears me out, that one! I have my days that I say ~ "Child, you drive the desire for any more kids far FAR away", but then, there are those other days where when I escape to the bathroom ( yes, I do just go in there to close the door and expect some semblance of privacy, but rarely do I get it from him) just to sit on the closed toilet and read a riveting book and he comes barreling in dragging his favorite blankie, grinning from ear to ear and waving like a madman. When he gets to me, he'll do an about face, back up into my legs and expect to sit on my lap and be read to. TTTOOOOOO SUPER DUPER CUTE. But I never read to him (well, there anyways), and I just breathe a heavy LOUD sigh of resignation and leave the quiet of that room and go take care of everything else in the house! And usually will wind up playing with him! He is so frustratingly adorable!
And then there's me. I've been wanting for some time to start making stuff and having my own primitive country decor store. So I've been practicing my painting. And I gotta say, I'm pretty much talentless in that area. But I always have fun with Xav and Tuck cause when I buy paint supplies for me, I buy for them too, and after the redheaded pistol gets put to bed, we have craft painting parties! It's fun! They pretty much do better than me! But I'm not jealous!
Anywho...................That's pretty much all that is going on in the McCoy family, well, about all I can share right now!
I think I may just well indulge myself tonight and go eat several scoops of ice cream and a few dozen sugar cones! TTYL!
You know, it seems like we are always so busy, but then we get to the end of the week and look back, and see that it doesn't seem like ANYTHING got done! Such a horrible feeling, but that's life.
I've decided I was gonna get on some sort of schedule. To include menu's and cleaning! And I think if I have my checklist checked off ~ be it a physical list or mental to do list ~ I think that just MAYBE I will feel a little more successful in my day in day out life.
There's so much that I have to post about, but at this moment am unable to do so, whether it be from lack of time, or that it's a private family matter. I just want so badly to be able to just blog about it all! But, maybe in time, things will work themselves out.
We are doing good. Jesse is enjoying his job, but doesn't feel as fulfilled in it as he would like to be. He truly misses being a "real cop" (his words, not mine). But, doesn't mind the job he has as it's a job, and he pretty much gets to watch tv and get paid to do so! He is by all means not complaining about actually having a job! I told him the other day as I finally got him to help me get some cleaning going in the house that since I know what he does all evening, I don't feel bad one iota to ask him to wash a dish or two! Man, does he ever have a great job! I sure do wish I could log my tv time and get paid for it!!!! J/K. I wouldn't make much these days!
Xavier is doing well in school. He can't wait to be done, but what kid can!!!!
Tucker is dreading the thought of school next year. So I think it may just be a struggle with him. I'm considering taking him to the doctor and asking about speech therapy as we have been working with him and can't quite seem to get him to pronounce his words like he should. He gets quite frustrated with us, and sometimes I hate pushing him that hard. But know I have to. Which is why it would be great to get him in therapy.
Gunner, boy, is that kid a pistol. I told him that the other day, and wise guy Xav said And that's why his name is Gunner. *Epiphany* Crap, I did this to my kid! You know they say that kids grow into their names. I wasn't fully expecting that! His first name and middle initial is Gunner E. As in Gunnery Sgt. I hoped that would be a good ........uh, er,......... omen (? ~ not really that superstitious) for a future military career, but apparently, it just means that he's going to be a handful and full of energy while young!!!!!!!! He wears me out, that one! I have my days that I say ~ "Child, you drive the desire for any more kids far FAR away", but then, there are those other days where when I escape to the bathroom ( yes, I do just go in there to close the door and expect some semblance of privacy, but rarely do I get it from him) just to sit on the closed toilet and read a riveting book and he comes barreling in dragging his favorite blankie, grinning from ear to ear and waving like a madman. When he gets to me, he'll do an about face, back up into my legs and expect to sit on my lap and be read to. TTTOOOOOO SUPER DUPER CUTE. But I never read to him (well, there anyways), and I just breathe a heavy LOUD sigh of resignation and leave the quiet of that room and go take care of everything else in the house! And usually will wind up playing with him! He is so frustratingly adorable!
And then there's me. I've been wanting for some time to start making stuff and having my own primitive country decor store. So I've been practicing my painting. And I gotta say, I'm pretty much talentless in that area. But I always have fun with Xav and Tuck cause when I buy paint supplies for me, I buy for them too, and after the redheaded pistol gets put to bed, we have craft painting parties! It's fun! They pretty much do better than me! But I'm not jealous!
Anywho...................That's pretty much all that is going on in the McCoy family, well, about all I can share right now!
I think I may just well indulge myself tonight and go eat several scoops of ice cream and a few dozen sugar cones! TTYL!
Sunday, January 31, 2010
A wonderful Lady I miss
It's been a while, and this won't be too lengthy cause it seems these days are so busy for me, doing what I don't rightly know!
Today is a day that I wish I were somewhere else. A very dear lady to me ~ Mrs. Carole Hanson ~ passed away Thursday morning, and her visitation is this afternoon, and her funeral is tomorrow. I wish I were there. In south Florida. But I can't. And that makes me very sad.
Mrs. Hanson was one of the deacons wives in our church in Pembroke Pines. But she was more than that. She was the Harvesters sunday school teacher ~ when she was gone (on vacation or just not available), I had the privelege of subbing for her sometimes. But she was also our ladies meeting ministry head. She was also an encouragement, to not only me but every woman who had the pleasure of crossing her path.
I can't recall ever hearing a negative thing come out of her mouth! She was such an awesome example of a Godly wife, and mother ~ I felt some kinship with her as she also had 3 ornery boys! She gave great wife/mother advice! I loved hearing her tell her stories about the struggles she had learning to be submissive or learning to be a better mom! It was always so evident in her life that she was a Christian and that she wanted to be better at it!
She loved music. For every theme in our ladies meetings she always came to me asking to choose a song for that quarters theme. She loved to sing. She also chose some beautiful songs to sing in groups and there's one thing I regret ~ she asked me at one point to transpose a song for her, and I never got around to doing it, but she never got on my case about it.
She had such a heart for children. You know, some people, as they get older get to where they don't like kids as much as they used to. Not her, I think the older she got, the more she loved being around them. I'm proud that I was able to work with her on things like sunday school stuff and vacation bible school. She is one of the women I emulate on so many levels.
And on this day, I wish I was able to be down in Florida with my church framily that I love and able to share in the grief and celebration of such an amazing woman. I miss her. I have found myself weeping off and on since she graduated to glory. I know she wouldn't want any of us to weep, but our hearts grieve that her presence is no longer able to be physically with us. I am so grateful for her legacy of love and faith that she leaves behind her. And I am rejoicing to know that she is with the Saviour she loved so much. And I admit, I'm a bit envious that she got to spend this Lord's day in HIS presence. Such a precious thought! She is in glory worshipping at HIS feet today. And I know that she is glorifying HIM for all HE has done for her! But I miss her! And I will! And I miss her family! They are very dear to my heart! If any of you read this, please know that my thoughts and love and prayers are with you all throughout this day and the next and so on!
Mrs. Hanson ~ we who come behind you ~ FIND YOU FAITHFUL!!!!!!!!!!!!
A song that I have been singing alot lately:
Heaven's Sounding Sweeter all the Time
Life has been so good, I can't complain....
When I'm down, God gives me strength to rise again....
I get weary from the struggle of it all...
That's when I listen, how I listen for His call....
Heaven’s sounding sweeter all the time
Seems like lately, it’s always on my mind
Someday, I’ll leave this world far behind
Heaven’s sounding sweeter all the time
Oh, it's hard to lose a loved one to the grave...
But we have the blessed hope that Jesus gave....
God's will wipe the tears from our eyes...
When we meet in that land beyond the skies....
Heaven’s sounding sweeter all the time
Seems like lately, it’s always on my mind
Someday, I’ll leave this world far behind
Heaven’s sounding sweeter all the time
*okay, I just tried to post a youtube video of the song ~ here's the link ~ copy and paste it if you'd like to hear it!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kFXFLFOgurI
Today is a day that I wish I were somewhere else. A very dear lady to me ~ Mrs. Carole Hanson ~ passed away Thursday morning, and her visitation is this afternoon, and her funeral is tomorrow. I wish I were there. In south Florida. But I can't. And that makes me very sad.
Mrs. Hanson was one of the deacons wives in our church in Pembroke Pines. But she was more than that. She was the Harvesters sunday school teacher ~ when she was gone (on vacation or just not available), I had the privelege of subbing for her sometimes. But she was also our ladies meeting ministry head. She was also an encouragement, to not only me but every woman who had the pleasure of crossing her path.
I can't recall ever hearing a negative thing come out of her mouth! She was such an awesome example of a Godly wife, and mother ~ I felt some kinship with her as she also had 3 ornery boys! She gave great wife/mother advice! I loved hearing her tell her stories about the struggles she had learning to be submissive or learning to be a better mom! It was always so evident in her life that she was a Christian and that she wanted to be better at it!
She loved music. For every theme in our ladies meetings she always came to me asking to choose a song for that quarters theme. She loved to sing. She also chose some beautiful songs to sing in groups and there's one thing I regret ~ she asked me at one point to transpose a song for her, and I never got around to doing it, but she never got on my case about it.
She had such a heart for children. You know, some people, as they get older get to where they don't like kids as much as they used to. Not her, I think the older she got, the more she loved being around them. I'm proud that I was able to work with her on things like sunday school stuff and vacation bible school. She is one of the women I emulate on so many levels.
And on this day, I wish I was able to be down in Florida with my church framily that I love and able to share in the grief and celebration of such an amazing woman. I miss her. I have found myself weeping off and on since she graduated to glory. I know she wouldn't want any of us to weep, but our hearts grieve that her presence is no longer able to be physically with us. I am so grateful for her legacy of love and faith that she leaves behind her. And I am rejoicing to know that she is with the Saviour she loved so much. And I admit, I'm a bit envious that she got to spend this Lord's day in HIS presence. Such a precious thought! She is in glory worshipping at HIS feet today. And I know that she is glorifying HIM for all HE has done for her! But I miss her! And I will! And I miss her family! They are very dear to my heart! If any of you read this, please know that my thoughts and love and prayers are with you all throughout this day and the next and so on!
Mrs. Hanson ~ we who come behind you ~ FIND YOU FAITHFUL!!!!!!!!!!!!
A song that I have been singing alot lately:
Heaven's Sounding Sweeter all the Time
Life has been so good, I can't complain....
When I'm down, God gives me strength to rise again....
I get weary from the struggle of it all...
That's when I listen, how I listen for His call....
Heaven’s sounding sweeter all the time
Seems like lately, it’s always on my mind
Someday, I’ll leave this world far behind
Heaven’s sounding sweeter all the time
Oh, it's hard to lose a loved one to the grave...
But we have the blessed hope that Jesus gave....
God's will wipe the tears from our eyes...
When we meet in that land beyond the skies....
Heaven’s sounding sweeter all the time
Seems like lately, it’s always on my mind
Someday, I’ll leave this world far behind
Heaven’s sounding sweeter all the time
*okay, I just tried to post a youtube video of the song ~ here's the link ~ copy and paste it if you'd like to hear it!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kFXFLFOgurI
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)