Warning: Rant ahead :D

You know, I have seen this a few places (blogs and fb) lately ~ this last one really set me off.  It's called a frumps to pumps challenge.   She said, our last get dressed challenge and our hubby's and kids loved it so lets do it again. 
WHAT. IN. THE. WORLD?! 
Let me tell ya.  I'm dressed every day.  Some days, and this happens ALOT in the winter, I just don't happen to get out of my pj's.  But, I'm dressed. 
Some days, I don't get my shower in.  I'm up, feeding my guys, cleaning the kitchen, educating those children, researching education stuff, cooking, making menus, or a plethora of other housewifey things.  So sorry if I don't pull out my silk tea lengthy dress, put on my pearls and heels, lace apron, with my perfectly coiffed hair.  SORRY. 
Most days my wardrobe consists of sweats, t-shirts (maybe the one I woke up in) and socks and slippers.  Makeup doesn't touch my face, unless I'm going out.  It's more of a 'why waste it'.  I DO put deoderant and perfume on.  And I do brush my teeth.  And maybe brush my hair. 
But the nice thing about it is.  My guys ~ all 4 of them ~ don't care that I don't do the June Cleaver look.  Usually if I get dressed in something more than sweats, questions like "Where you going mom?" comes up!  They like me for who I am.  I'm glad I don't have to be fancy schmancy all the time.  I'm glad I can wear grubby clothes.  My family is happy, healthy, and well fed. 
But I just get sick and tired of women trying to make women feel that they have to pull a June Cleaver.  They need to remember that June Cleaver wasn't real.  She had people doing her hair, and her makeup.  I bet when June Cleaver walked off the set, and went home, I bet her family had pb&j sandwiches and bowls of cereal for dinner (or the equivalent back then) or had a personal chef. 
Let me just tell you, in case you have a crisis of all these voices calling for women to be June Cleavers ~ as long as your hubby and kids are happy with pj's, slippers and fresh faces ~ then THAT'S OKAY! 
Be you ~ and if that means, in the morning you change from your jammies you slept in to your "daytime jammies" THEN GO FOR IT!  BE YOU!  Because you were made by an AWESOME God.  HE made you to be who you are.  And remember,  Eve wore a sheepskin jacket ~ probably the same one ~ many days before she washed it.  So, if you get to change your shirt every now and then, then you’re good to go!
Anywho ~ That’s all :D

challenge

I'm taking this challenge.  I can't wait.  I like doing these things.  It is so nice for Godly women to encourage each other.  You should join me on this challenge!  Who doesn't need not just a home, but a haven for our families hearts?!  I know I do!  Here is this weeks challenge:

Go buy an extra large candle and light a candle everyday in your home. I will be starting mine in the morning! But you can start yours at dinner time. Do what makes sense for your family. I will be placing mine in the kitchen – the main hub of my home. Each time the candle catches your eye, say a prayer for peace in your home.

 

What makes a home a haven? Is it having a home that looks like it popped out of Better Homes and Gardens with unbelievable decorating? Is it a home that has massive amounts of toys, food to feast on, video games stacked high and every movie imaginable to view? Is it a certain number of square feet, a separate bedroom for each child, or the neighborhood you live in?

No. It is not the things we have or the things we do not have that make our homes a haven. It’s you – my dear reader – you are the key to making the home a haven.

Let’s compare two women and see which home you live in.

Home #1

1. The woman of the home is distant. She is pulled into her computer, television, books, or text messages and it’s hard for the family to connect with her. She wonders why no one seems to listen to her? The children don’t obey her and her husband is insensitive.

2. The woman of the home is distracted. Her calendar is very full and her daily demands are so high it’s hard for her to focus and live in the moment with her husband and children. She is often late and rushing everyone and feeling guilty about being distracted but stuck in this rut of feeling overwhelmed and too busy.

3. The woman of the home is crabby. She is short on sleep, she hasn’t had a minute alone since the 1990′s and she really can’t see a light at the end of the tunnel to get a break. She is hopeless.

4. The woman of the home is discontent. She doesn’t like her home. She doesn’t like her husband. She doesn’t like one or all of her kids. She doesn’t like her church. She doesn’t like her neighbors. Truthfully, she doesn’t even like herself.

5. The woman of the home doesn’t pray. It’s counter cultural. She’s never lived in a home with a mom who prays. She doesn’t know other moms who pray. She wants to try praying but doesn’t know where to begin so she never begins.

Home #2

1. The woman of the home is engaged. She is aware of what everyone is doing right in that moment. If a child needs help or correction – she is right there to give it. If her husband needs a hug, an encouraging word or a helping hand she is right there to care. She is playful and makes time to tickle, dance, play checkers or Wii with her family. This is a woman whose family praises her (Prov. 31:28).

2. The woman of the home is wise with her time management. She guards her family from getting so busy that they lose their connection with each other. She dissects her calendar and eliminates things that are unnecessary. She is prepared when it is time to go somewhere to alleviate the stress that comes from late minute rushing. She and her family enjoy the slow paced life she has created in her home.

3. The woman of the home has a pleasant demeanor. She does not stay up late watching television, reading, surfing the web or working. She goes to sleep at a reasonable hour so she can wake cheerfully for her family. She knows that some seasons of life are harder than others so she is patient with her season of life and is confident that she will reap what she has sown. She works diligently trusting God with the results of her labor.

4. The woman of the home is content. She knows that no home, husband, child, church or neighborhood is perfect. So she chooses to be content with what God has given her for today.

5. The woman of the home prays. She knows that she is weak but God is strong and that she cannot fulfil the role of wife, mother, homemaker and sometimes employee, on her own strength. She is completely dependent on God and practices this dependence by daily praying for all of these things.

This morning at church ~ we sang this song and I thought it was perfect with my previous post!  Hope it blesses your heart like it did mine!

A Time for Everything

Ecclesiastes 3.1-8

A Time for Everything

1There is a time for everything,

and a season for every activity under heaven:

2a time to be born and a time to die,

a time to plant and a time to uproot,

3a time to kill and a time to heal,

a time to tear down and a time to build,

4a time to weep and a time to laugh,

a time to mourn and a time to dance,

5a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,

a time to embrace and a time to refrain,

6a time to search and a time to give up,

a time to keep and a time to throw away,

7a time to tear and a time to mend,

a time to be silent and a time to speak,

8a time to love and a time to hate,

a time for war and a time for peace. 

Seasons.  They change.  Just a few days ago, the first day of fall and it was 78*.  It was toasty warm out.  Our air conditioner was on.  And until yesterday, it had been on and off for nearly a month.  Today, I'm tempted to turn the heater on.  Right now it is 48*.  All the windows in my house are closed and we are all in long sleeves sweats and socks to keep our tootsies warm.  For dinner tonight, I am making loaded baked potato soup.  It's a first for us, so i can't wait to try it.  It's a recipe from my childhood best friend!  I miss her.  We hadn't seen each other in years {as in at least 15}, but we reconnected on facebook and I MISS HER!  But, so is life.  I can't wait to try this recipe though!  

Life.  It changes.  Yesterday was such a happy day for some people.  And a terribly tragic day for others.  Yesterday, I had another nephew born (don't know when we will get to meet him, when I will get to smoosh him and pinch his cheeks, but we will eventually).  He's such a cutie.  Then yesterday evening, another friend I have from my childhood (that I reconnected with via facebook), her precious 2 month old daughter left this earth to sit in Jesus lap.  I cannot fathom what this sweet family is going through.  Amy (my friend) wrote a post last night about sweet little Kyndall's passing ~ and her faith and trust in our loving Saviour just blew me away.  She and her husband are marvelous testimonies of God's goodness and grace.   If you think of it ~ please pray for this sweet family ~ Josh and Amy Covertt and their 2 other little ones Caroline and Josiah.

Me.  I'm changing.  So much about me is not the same as I was just last year, not to consider what I was a few years ago.  I like to think that I am changing for the better.  I still have my things I struggle with ~ family conflicts and things such as that.   But the Bible does say that there is a time for everything.  And for me this is my autumn season in my personal life.  A time to die to some things.  A time to heal from others.  A time to give up somethings, a time to refrain from others.  A time to be silent.  And a time to throw away.  A time to cast off, and a time to keep to myself.   A time to reevaluate some things.  And I am doing just that.  I'm refraining from relationships to keep the door open for hopefully a better relationship at a later point with some people.  And this is because my emotions are so raw about them, so hurt, that I have a hard time refraining from speaking hurtful things to them.  So, it is now my time to be silent to them to try to preserve a chance to at some point have a time that I can laugh, and embrace them later.  This is a time for me to leave things in God's hands and let HIM heal my wounded heart because I haven't been doing such a great job of it.  Bandaids don't really help when what is really needed is stitches.  There's a time for war ~ and a time for peace.  I'm praying for peace while warring within myself and I'm glad that God tells us that that is okay. 

And it is also that time of year for me that I need desperately to get my house in order.  This unorganized chaos is starting to drive me insane.  I need to give up some things ~ such as clothes I canNot fit into.  It just clogs my closet up.  And makes my husband think I have plenty of clothes ~ therefore, don't need to buy any.  And THAT my friends is unacceptable.  I need to accept that my fall decorating is done, so I can put away those boxes in the basement and do away with that clutter.  I need to clear my scrapbook desk off so I can start that again.  I need to pull out the next size up of clothes for my little guy.  His pants are looking a little like the flood is coming ;).  Why does he have to grow up?  But now is my season to accept that he is no longer my baby.  And there probably won't be anymore.  And I have to cast off those "mama wants a baby to snuggle" feelings cause they just grow up into little critters who eat you out of house and home :D and no longer let you snuggle :(  And need those pesky things like educating and such.  And this mama can only handle so much!
And now is the season I start thinking about how rich {or poor rather} Santa Claus is this year.  And I'm determined that Santa is going to go for more quality than quantity this year.  At least, I hope he does.   I hope he can :D. 

And I am needing to make our schooling go a little more smoothly.  Mama needs to start rolling her lazy butt out of bed earlier than I have been so we can get a jump start on this education thing!  They are starting to get the hang of their seatwork and homework and things!  I'm enjoying these days with my little guys who are quickly becoming young men!  And I love it! 

So what does this time of year mean for you?  For me, it's about change.  Good and bad, but all working into the plan that God has laid out for me!  And I am ever so grateful HE is willing to change me!

Xav's wedding dance!

He's such a cutie pie!

Today

Here I sit.  At the dining room table that gets converted into the school room 5 days a week.  Had a late start today, but it's nice because the boys have very little seatwork to do today.  I have to do some actual TEACHING for Tucker today ~ review of abc's {sometimes he has a harder time identifying them while reading}, memorizing months of the year and days of the week, and also looking at some charts to do with numbers placements.  He does pretty good with most of his stuff.  Just needs a little help.
Xavier is doing pretty well with his math.  And language ~ although, he hates reading (gets that from his daddy not me) and penmanship.  But he likes and gets the grammar work, which is nice!  Then we have science, history and Bible still to do after they get their seatwork done.  
I am truly enjoying doing their school with them this year.  Although, I think I need to be a little more structured with it.  I do need to administer their quizzes and tests in a better way.  But we'll get there eventually. 
Since we are learning about animals this chapter in science class, I'm thinking Friday might call for a trip to the zoo here in Syracuse.  FIELD TRIP!  That is the most awesome part of homeschooling.  Then sometime next month we are going to go to a farm for the autumn activities ~ hay ride, corn maze, maybe some apple picking.  I'm learning to not be so concerned about scheduling but about having a fun time with my guys.   It's hard, but when they grow up, I want them to look back and have wonderful memories of this time of their lives.  I am a hard person.  I realize that.  I'm trying to not be as harsh.  I'm trying to be more loving.  I'm trying to parent with grace.  THAT is hard.  But I can't do any less.  My wonderful Abba Father never treats me harshly, only with love.  So, I try to model HIM.  I fail at times, but my guys are so wonderful as to keep giving me chance after chance to become a better mom!  I have such awesome guys!

On another note, we had an awesome weekend.  Jesse's sister Samantha got married.  We had such a great time!  Xavier got to be the ring bearer.  He got a nice kickin' watch out of the deal.  And he showed us that he has got the MOVES on the dance floor.  THAT he must've got from me.  :D  It was so fun to watch him!  He told us on the way home that he got everyone out on the dance floor!  And that is pretty much the truth of it!   He had a good time and so did we.  I think I may have gained about 20 pounds between the rehearsal dinner and the dinner at the reception.  HOLY CRAP ~ it was AWESOME food. And I am a girl who likes good food! 
I'm gonna come back later today or tomorrow and upload some pictures on here and maybe a video or 2 of Xavier gettin' his groove on! 

I can tell the seasons are changing!

With me, there is just this feeling I get in my gut at the turning from Summer to Autumn.  And it's a good one!  I love the chill in the air, keeping the windows open, making the heart meals.  I just love autumn! 
And at night,  right before bed, hot cocoa is begged for (and almost always obliged ~ if we have enough for all 3) and snuggles are fought for.  Nope, I don't beg them to snuggle with me, they fight over who gets to snuggle with me first.  And that does this mama's heart SO good!  I love it when my guys just snuggle and love on me!  I have been so blessed in my life.  Beyond measure. 

Now mind you they can be precocious little boogers.  Like tonight  ~ Xavier climbed a tree in our complex (we rent, and the management can be .............anal) and just started tearing down branches.  SERIOUSLY?!?!?!?  So, I expect to be getting a very "sweetly worded" letter tomorrow.  Oy vey!

School is going really well.  Today, we started late (what's new, I'm SO not a morning person) and we were done by 1:15 ~ before Jesse got up.  WOOHOO! 
The guys do their seatwork ~ math, english, phonics/spelling  ~ all independently, well, for the most part independently.  Then we do Bible, history and science together.  I really am kinda liking it!  I love history ~ and so I'm relearning alot of what I had previously forgotten ~ and they like it too.  But what they like the best, I think is science.  We are learning about bugs and plants and animals!  I'm just having a good time just sitting at the table and talking/teaching with my guys! 

And that is just what's going on right now!  Oh, yeah, and btw ~ I did cut my fb vaca short!  :D

Learning about myself

You know, it's kinda funny.   Lately, while on fb, I had been getting frustrated.  You know, the kind of frustration that makes a girl just shake her head and yell to the wind "I DON'T UNDERSTAND SOME PEOPLE".  Ugh. 
So, I decided to take a facebook hiatus, vacation, sabbatical, or whatever you want to call it.  So, I decided that to keep my blood pressure to a healthy level, I needed to stay off of facebook for a while.  I came out with grand plans of doing it for a full week.  O.o ~ I don't know why I did that to myself.  I was going through withdrawals within 30 minutes.  And I realized that is a long time to go for a first time fb vacationer.   Especially since I am not doing anything special right now.  It would be easier if I was on vacation.  But I'm not.  I'm just homeschooling, and cleaning and cooking (keep your mouth shut, Jesse) and just bored at night.  Jesse goes to work at 6 pm, the boys go to bed no later than 9 pm and I am lonely the rest of the evening.  So it is hard
Now, what I am finding the most telling about myself is that a) I am what could be considered addicted to facebook and b)REALLY a boring and weird person cause I find I can blog about it. 

All that to say ~ I am going to go off my fb vacation ~ it was intended to alleviate stress, not add to it.  And yes, I am gonna have some unnamed men gloat because apparently they know me better than I know myself.   There were some guys who said I couldn't last, my husband being one of them.  I will gladly tell them that they were right.   But, I have also learned that maybe I don't need to live on it like I have become accustomed to.   So, there is my sad strange little blog about my lack of will power to stay off of facebook. 
And this is why I don't drink ~ I'm easily addicted and have no will power to stop.  SERIOUSLY!

Do your best, and hang the rest

I have said that phrase to Tucker, my little first grader today.

He had to read a sentence, then draw a picture to go with that sentence.  Well, not necessarily a sentence, but a phrase.  The first phrase he had was 'a frog on a pond'.  He didn't know how to draw a frog.  So, he asked me.  I am so NOT an artist.  So, I drew an oval, with 4 webbed-ish feet and a smile for a mouth and 2 eyes above the  oval.  And he looked at it like "Mom, that ain't no frog".  He said, I don't think I can.  So I told just do his best and hang the rest.

So many times, in my own life for myself, and for my kids, I find myself expecting more than I should.  More than they can give/do.  More than I can.  I expect perfection.  And I tell myself that is impossible.  That I expect too much from myself, or from them.  But it is so hard to remember at times that we aren't meant to be perfect.  We, in and of our human nature, cannot achieve perfection.  EVER.  No matter what we do, or how hard we try.  But I have a hard time remembering that.  Why is it so much easier to forget that we can't be perfect so we try try and try some more to achieve what is impossible for us? 

God, in HIS infinite love for us knew that we can't achieve that perfection ~ the kind *we* want nor the kind HE wants.  And I'm so thankful that HE doesn't expect me to do it on my own cause I SO can't.   So, I'm trying to live by this motto ~ Do your best and hang the rest.  Because that is all I can do.  And that is all I expect from my guys.  Unfortunately, I had spent way too much time expecting so much from them that they are too hard on themselves.  So together, we are learning this simple yet complex principle.  

And THAT was our lesson for today!

School papers

I have always had a difficult time keeping track of paper work for the boys school.  We have mostly done the A Beka accredited program, where we send the papers in to them and they sent us a grade card.  I liked that but that was SO FREAKIN' EXPENSIVE.  So, this year, we decided to just "go it alone".  Because really, do you REALLY need to keep track of transcripts until high school?!  I mean, yes, I keep my papers, but I don't think I really needed the accreditation for elementary school.

So, we got our "new to us" file cabinet ~ it is old and heavy.  It was a steal.  Not quite the good deal we got with the one from where Jesse worked in Florida.  Can't beat free.  But, this one was $10.  Definitely a good deal, because a new one would not be as heavy duty.  And a flimsy 2 drawer one at Target is like $45.  So, yeah, a good deal.

Anywho ~ I got caught up on some of my grading.  But the thing I LOVE ~ I found (off of a facebook page ~ oh, how I miss thee, fb) a link to get a free gradebook system ~ it's a homeschool mom who formatted the excel worksheet.  It is awesome ~

It has an attendance record, separate tabs for each subject and grades for those subjects (quiz, test, and daily grades {which I don't use the daily grades} ) and also tabs for extra curriculars {ours are art, music, and pe}, book reports, and field trips.

This excel spreadsheet is such a life saver.  I stressed so much over how to keep my records.  I have to send in reports every 9 weeks to our school district so this is totally helping me.  And it's kinda nifty.  It helps me to keep track of how many days we are in school. 
Oh, and the best part?!  IT WAS FREE!  But, you know, it totally would've been SO worth the (I think) $25 it was going for (I just happened to win a contest or be within the certain number of visitors on a blog, or something like that :D ).  But I am SO glad I followed that link! 

I did notice that I was a few quizzes behind so tomorrow we are going to catch up.  I'm still trying to get the hang of this whole self teach thing.  I'm trying not to over stress it, and I'm trying to not hold myself to some far reaching goal.  I'm trying to stay realistic.  And I haven't been too hard on the guys, which I have to keep telling myself to just go with the flow. 

Do you homeschool?   How do you stay on track, and still keep it fun and make sure your kids are still learning?  Just lookin' for some ideas! 

AND ~ I'm really jonesin' to sign into facebook, so here I am rambling and blogging!  Don't mind me :D