Anticipation

Well, Jesse got home about 12 hours earlier than he was scheduled for.  Yay!  It was so nice to have him home that night, to tuck the guys into bed.  Then the next day, I was able to do something that I hadn't gotten to do for 2 1/2 weeks.  I went shopping!!!!!  Oh, it was a beautiful moment when I drove away with utter, blissful silence all by myself!  Now, don't get me wrong, I love my guys {all 4 of them} and I offered to let them go with me ~ but when they heard the words, trying on clothes, they all loudly groaned and unanimously decided to stay home.  Darn!  ;) 

So, I went clothes shopping all by myself.  And I really wasn't intending to purchase anything, just try to get an idea of some stuff I would like to buy ~ I'm kinda in need of clothes that fit me.  You see, I'm trying to lose weight, but it isn't happening all too fast.  And we have vacation coming up.  Now, the clothes I have work just fine for me ~ you know, the ratty old sweatshirts and t-shirts and the jeans about a tich too small.  And those work just fine for me right now, when all I do is stay home all day long and I have a couple of nice pieces that rotate for church every 2 weeks-ish.  But, going on vacation means people are going to be subjected {whether they like it or not} to looking at me and I would really prefer that I look presentable.  Which is why I was clothes shopping.  But, I found some very awesome deals, so I just had to snatch them up!  Dress barn was having some clearance stuff that I got awesome deals on and Christopher and Banks.  Well, lets just say I absolutely love their clothes, but I will never in my wildest dreams ever pay full price for their stuff.  Especially when I can wait and get the deal I got on Thursday.  I found an awesome pair of casual khaki's for..............drumroll please..............................$6.99.  Oh yeah.  That is what I'm talking about.  I mean a pair of $60.00 pants.  Sweet action Jackson.  Plus a Denim jacket/shirt thing there for also $6.99.  Score! 

And last night, I made our reservations for our hotel in Washington DC.  And I am so super duper excited!   We are taking our family vacation in March.  In Greenville, SC there is a homeschool convention that I was wanting to go to.  And a plus side of that is that one of my dearest friends lives in Greenville.  So, I talked Jesse into asking for the time off and he got it.  And we have some other friends that live and work in the DC area.  So we decided we would take a few days and spend it in DC and see our friends, do some of the tourist-y stuff and then head to Greenville. 

As soon as my friend Kelly found out we were coming down to the convention she said "Of course you are staying with us, right?!"  So we are staying with them and Kelly and I are going to hit up the convention together.  I don't think Jesse is going to want to go except maybe once because, as he put it, "honey, that's really not my thing".  But I don't care ~ he can go take the boys and do whatever!  I want to go to some of the workshops and most importantly I want to browse and investigate all my options for curriculum next year! 

So, I am greatly anticipating our vacation.  So excited!  We are going to be taking a tour of the Capitol Building, seeing the Washington Monument (even though it's closed due to earthquake damage), Lincoln Memorial, and all the other fun things we can just walk around and do on Monday.  On Tuesday, we are hitting up the Smithsonian because the boys and I  have never been there.  Before we leave on Wednesday, I'm wanting to take the boys (and Jesse, since he's never been) to Arlington.  I think it's important that they see the price that people have paid for our freedoms in this country. 

So, this is just like Christmas to me, I can barely contain my excitement.  And it's like our first real family vacation.  Usually, our vacations consist of visiting family, and while that's good and all, it's nice to do something tourist-y!  So, I'm just excited and had to tell someone, because I think all 4 of my guys are already tired of hearing about it ;)

Week 4 ~ Gentleness

This week, Courtney ~ at women living well ~ is challenging us to praise our children.  And when you first think about it, you would say ~ Oh, okay, I do that No big deal.  But she isn't just encouraging us to praise our children.  She is encouraging us (using the epitome of the gentle  mother Michelle Duggar) us to not just praise our kids, but to praise our kids 10x's more than we correct them.  Wait. a. Minute.  What!?  Is that even possible?!  It is something that will take time to get used to doing, but they are right. 

Now the past 3 weeks have been challenging for me.  Jesse's been gone for 2 weeks.  And I have failed more times than I can count, but I can say that I am now more aware of how I speak.  I am even more aware of how I interact with my guys.  And this has been a very much needed challenge.  I don't want to be the kind of mom that when my kids get older they don't remember anything but me yelling.  Me always being angry at them.  Me not handling their mischief properly.  I want to be fun and kind and sweet and gentle.  And no, that doesn't come naturally to me.  But I'm so very glad to have this challenge always at the front of my mind to always remind me to be more gentle. 

So, here's to week number 4.  May I praise my kids so much this week.  And I pray that God will help me find things with which to praise them if they are difficult! 

Blessed beyond Measure

Today has been a pretty good day.  When I tried to get out of bed this morning, I couldn't hardly move.  I gotta say, Eve needs to be in protective custody for all eternity.  Ugh.  Sometimes I *hate* being a girl.  But I am SO thankful that God saw to it that Midol was created.  Midol is a miracle medicine in my house.  Anywho.......
Because my cramps were so bad today (TMI?!  Sorry) I couldn't get to church.  So, I stayed home and watched church online.  And I am ever so thankful.  I watched the streaming services of Elevation Church.  I have been a fan of Steven Furtick for a few months.  Today though, he had a guest speaker {James McDonald} who spoke of generosity and giving.  Something I have struggled with here lately.  And I am ever so grateful that I was able to catch it and listen, be blessed, and be convicted by what I heard.  He made so many good points and actually talked about things in ways that I have been battling them in my own mind recently.  It's so awesome how God works.

And I'm so thankful that I have started listening to men and women of God who, just a few years ago, I would never have listened to because they weren't "using the right Bible" and I would've considered them to be "liberal, therefore their points of view to be wrong and irrelevant".  Woohoo.  I'm so grateful that God doesn't care what "religion" or "denomination" you are ~ just that we believe that He is the way the truth and the life!  How awesome is that!  And I know so many who would now deem me (because of this) to be "liberal and ecumenical".  And I say ~ Yes, I am.  Thanks!  I'm so thankful for how He's been working in my heart and in my life.  Oh, it is such a beautiful thing!  Woohoo!  I truly am blessed beyond measure!!

I can't remember if I blogged about this before ~ but I joined a Bible study (I think I have talked about it) study in the book of Ephesians.  Well, I had gotten so busy (how terrible am I?!) on Thursday and Friday that I had forgotten to do the work of it.  So I got caught up today.  Woah.  Monday through Friday, we read and studied Ephesians 1:1-14. 
 

Paul, an apostle of Christ Jesus by the will of God,
To God's holy people in Ephesus,t the faithful in Christ Jesus:

2 Grace and peace to you from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.

3 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ.4 For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love5 he predestined us for adoption to sonshipt through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will—6 to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves.7 In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God's grace8 that he lavished on us. With all wisdom and understanding,9 het made known to us the mystery of his will according to his good pleasure, which he purposed in Christ,10 to be put into effect when the times reach their fulfillment—to bring unity to all things in heaven and on earth under Christ.

11 In him we were also chosen,t having been predestined according to the plan of him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will,12 in order that we, who were the first to put our hope in Christ, might be for the praise of his glory.13 And you also were included in Christ when you heard the message of truth, the gospel of your salvation. When you believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit,14 who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God's possession—to the praise of his glory.

 {niv}

Now, I'm not gonna bore you with all my observations and applications, but I'm gonna give you a few highlights :D    The thing that I've been getting blessed beyond measure about is the fact that I am Chosen.  He chose me  ~ before the world was even created.  He chose me.  I wasn't an afterthought.  He included me and Chose me.  He spoke the voice of truth to me and when I accepted the Gospel of Salvation He sealed me for all eternity.  I am His child, chosen.  And because we are His, He lavishes blessings on us.  And He doesn't expect anything from us except Praise.  And I think I can do that.  Oh, this is so wonderful.  I will praise Him all my days!  For it's the least I can do. 
And this is why I *love* every single song that I have in my playlist over to your left here.  Such awesome praises those songs sing.  And those are my praise songs to my Creator, Redeemer, and Chooser!!!  Thank you Jesus!!!!!!

January 17

Today, we got started back in school after a very loverly 4 day weekend.  I had severe headaches on Friday, and Monday was a holiday so i just let them have it off.  And so today we are getting back in the swing of everything.  And it's been a great day!   They got their paperwork done ~ and Xavier is reviewing his chapter of History.  He's got a couple tests coming up. 

Sunday they joined the Kids choir at church and they have to go over their songs everyday.  So, I just incorporated that in with Bible class!  They love it.  I'm working on trying to teach them about true worship.  And I'm hoping that kids choir will help with that.

Today's Bible lesson was about sin.  I use a website for their Bible class:  Kids 4 Truth Devotionals .  And once a week they have a short biography of great Christians ~ Truth in Real life Moments.  And it was about Corrie ten Boom.  Such a convicting story and take on it.  Here is the last paragraph from the biography today:

What about us? In today’s comparably “normal” and “safe” circumstances, praying in a public restaurant or giving a disabled beggar some food is too “hard” or “scary” (or maybe just embarrassing?) for some Christians. They do not do anything notably “Christian” in public, because they don’t want to stand out as being different, and they are afraid someone might get angry or give them a funny look. They don’t want to give sacrificially or take risks to help needy people, because they are worried about having enough money and food for themselves. It was crucial for Corrie to remember that God loved her in spite of her shortcomings and that He wanted her to share His kind of love and forgiveness with her enemies. Do you love the unlovely? Do you take risks and make sacrifices to help needy people? Did Jesus Christ do those things for you? Even if you “don’t feel like it,” you can, by God’s grace, live out God’s love and grace in a world that doesn’t understand it.  

Something I want to teach my guys.  But I know it's something I truly need to exercise more in my life.   I like it when I'm trying to teach my guys something and it convicts me.  Well, I don't necessarily like it, but I know it's something I am glad for.  

All of Creation

A few months back, I came across a video ~ I don't even know who posted it or recommended it ~ and I have since watched so many of this guys video's.   The first time I watched it, I *almost* turned it off after the first few minutes, but I stuck it out for the whole 14 minutes. 

Oh. My. Goodness.  I am ever so glad I did.  It brought me to tears the first time I hear it and every time since.  It is truly marvelous.  I love Louie Giglio ~ I think it would be so marvelous to attend his church ~ his worship leader is Chris Tomlin.  What an awesome duo!  I even use his stuff in science class for my guys!  It is truly worth the 14 minutes it takes to get through it, and if you are like me, you will start it over again.  Make sure you scroll down a bit to pause the music to the left of my sidebar!

Here's the Scripture passage Louie uses.
Psalm 148:
 1 Praise the Lord.
Praise the Lord from the heavens;
praise him in the heights above.

2 Praise him, all his angels;
praise him, all his heavenly hosts.

3 Praise him, sun and moon;
praise him, all you shining stars.

4 Praise him, you highest heavens
and you waters above the skies.

5 Let them praise the name of the Lord,
for at his command they were created,

6 and he established them for ever and ever—
he issued a decree that will never pass away.

7 Praise the Lord from the earth,
you great sea creatures and all ocean depths,

8 lightning and hail, snow and clouds,
stormy winds that do his bidding,

9 you mountains and all hills,
fruit trees and all cedars,

10 wild animals and all cattle,
small creatures and flying birds,

11 kings of the earth and all nations,
you princes and all rulers on earth,

12 young men and women,
old men and children.

13 Let them praise the name of the Lord,
for his name alone is exalted;
his splendor is above the earth and the heavens.

14 And he has raised up for his people a horn,t
the praise of all his faithful servants,
of Israel, the people close to his heart.
Praise the Lord.   

One full Day

Well, I have one full day down.  We survived it.  I wasn't as gentle as I should've been.  But I didn't yell as much as I wanted to.  While I didn't exactly whisper, I spoke in a more controlled manner.  Tomorrow, I will give more hugs and kisses than I did today.   Tomorrow, I will actually do some housework!

But today, I was sorta lonely, so I talked to a few friends on facebook off and on all day.   But, we got caught up on some tests for Tucker and Xavier and I worked on some more Algebra.  And we got our science class done.  But not history.  There was a gas problem today.  No, not the furnace, 2 little boys couldn't stop passing it.  Ugh.  Oh the joys of mothering little boys.  That was the moment I actually did raise my voice today ~ with an exasperated "could. you. please. stop. farting.  Holy cow ~ I need a gas mask." 
Granted, the guys really thought it was funny, I didn't.  So I proceeded to just call an end to school and leave the room while telling them to take care of all their stuff.

Then they had "P.E." ~ that is what we homeschool mom's call playing out of doors!  :)  And when it started to get dark, I called the guys in ~ and sent Xavier to run laps around the building a couple times.  You see, he has been having a hard time falling asleep at night, so my thinking was that he wasn't playing hard enough.  He was crying when he got done, and told me that the only reason he wasn't falling asleep easily was he was worried about his Dad being gone and missing him.  *melting my heart*.  I'm hoping that is all it is.  Poor guy.  Sweet little guy!  Love his heart!  He {as well as the other two} is such a daddy's boy.

I did get both of my Bible studies in today.  And let me tell you ~ it's awesome how much they correlate ~ yes, I realize Paul wrote them both!  The thing I'm walking away with today is that Paul always poured grace, mercy and blessings on the recipients of his letters.  He let everyone know that they were worthy of Grace, compassion and God's great love.  No. Matter. What.  and from my study in Philippians 1:6  For I am confidant of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Jesus Christ  {nasb}~ God started a work in me the instant I received His free gift.   And never has God done a work and destroyed it completely when flaws become evident {Even Noah found Grace in the eyes of the Lord ~ God saved the remnant with Noah's family}.  every thing He's ever done was Good.  It didn't (nor does it ever) stay that way, but He will never be finished working in it!  How awesome is that?!?!?!

Anywho, I need to shut down and finally get some sleep!  I'll probably be back here tomorrow night!

Told ya :)

Haha ~ another post from me so soon!  Lol!  Less than 24 hours and I'm already bored/lonely :/

Anywho ~
I had made some resolutions for this year, and  so far my weight one has been doing good.  Although, I did fall off the wagon completely today.  Yikes.  I'm a stress eater and a Pepsi drinker.  And apparently, Pepsi is like a comfort food to me.  And so, here I sit drinking one.  But, tomorrow,  I will drink my 5 bottles of water like I had been the rest of the week.  And it's not as bad as I thought it would be, as long as I use my water bottle.

I want to start trying to get up earlier so I can get my Ephesians Bible study in before my guys get up.  And at night, I want to do my Philippians study.  Try to get on some sort of schedule.  So, that means, I eventually have to get into bed, I would imagine :).

After we dropped Jesse off at the airport today, the guys and I went to Walmart and I printed off some pictures for them ~ they wanted pictures of them with their Dad ~ so, I printed off the pictures we took at the airport and bought some $2 frames and they all went to sleep with their pictures.  How sweet is that?!  Come on, admit it, you just went "Awwwwwwwwwwww".  That's okay, my guys are like super cute ;)  And tonight, Xavier asked me "Mom, can we just snuggle for a little while?!"  *heart melting*  I love that my 10 year old {well, all of them for that matter} still loves to snuggle and cuddle with their mama!  Oh, I have been blessed!

But, tonight, I was just sitting here with the house a mess, I didn't feel like doing anything.  At All.  Yes, I allow myself to sit on the pity pot when Jesse leaves.  But I was thinking ~ I want to be actually productive this time, while he's gone.  And, gosh darn it, I will.  My goal while he's gone is to Not shop while he is gone.  I tend to do that ~ if you actually looked at our goals of paying off some stuff, 50% of what needs to be paid off is from my need to self soothe while shopping.  Oy vey!  Yep, I'm That girl.  I hope not to be her any more.  So, I decided to have a goal.  My goal is to get my scrapbook table cleaned off and maybe crank out a page or two or ten.  Whatever.  And to get rid of the pile of "donate" things in the basement.  But that is my goal.  That and to clean up the house and get into a habit of keeping it tidy and slightly more organized.  I try to keep my expectations low, because I know how I am.  But I will try :)

this week

:'(  This week, Jesse is gone for a few weeks doing some training.  He is going to be the Ground Defense instructor where he works, so he has to go to an "instructing the instructor" class, then for the last week and a half will be nothing but ground defense.  He likes that sort of stuff, but the class is going to wreck him.  Or so he says ;)  So, he is on his way to Little Rock right now.  Should be landing soon.

I hate it when he has to leave for stuff like this.  I can survive.  I carry on, but I truly do miss him.  Although, I look at the positive ~ you know, I don't have to shave my legs as much, get to have the bed completely to myself all those nights, I don't have to get out of my pajama's, and the clincher ~ Dinner can be cereal Ever. Single. Night.  :D  Yeah, Buddy!  So, Jesse, you have any more training you can do there, dear?!  LOL

Of course there are the downfalls ~ 24/7 non-stop of mommy and me time with my guys.  I guarantee they don't always look forward to these times :/  They actually asked me if I could go and dad could stay here.  And let me tell ya, I would be more than willing, but I don't think I could pass myself off as Jesse McCoy ;)  Nor could I survive Ground Defense training!!!!

Well, last week I know I mentioned I was taking the Gentleness  challenge with Courtney (and many other women around the country) at women living well.

I cannot tell you how much I am appreciating all the encouragement and camaraderie I feel doing it.  It's nice to know that I am not alone with this.  I am just praying I can exercise gentleness more to my boys this week.  I did okay last week.  I lost it a couple times, today being one of those days.  But, I am trying.  It's good for me!  And it's great for my guys!

So, for right now, that's all.  Hope you all have a marvelous week!  I'll probably blog a lot this week ;)

Excited

Well, to do with my new years word ~ KNOW ~ I had planned on starting a personal study of the book of Philippians.  Then Courtney at women living well introduced a 3 month Bible study of Ephesians and a friend of mine Sherry at he{art} started a Good Morning Girls group on facebook and I really wanted to do it.  So I decided that in my journey this year to KNOW HIM more, 2 studies at once couldn't necessarily be a bad thing, right?   So I will be doing both.  I can't wait.   Philippians has always been a favorite of mine.  And Ephesians, well, Ephesians has my marriage verses in it, so I can't wait!

I am also wanting so badly to get a little more involved in politics.  I'm always posting political things on facebook, but I really want to get more involved in real life.  I get so caught up that it's not good for my blood pressure though.  I really just need to find a good balance for it.  I am hoping to become more involved with Smart Girl Politics.  if you are a conservative and concerned with the direction this country is going, I would encourage you to go check out Smart Girl Politics.  I have really slacked in being on there much, but will now that things are starting to settle down.  I'm hoping and praying for an opportunity to host a Smart Girl meet and greet at some point in the near future. 

Now, (I kinda feel like I'm doing a business meeting ~ next order of business ;)  ) I have also been taking the Gentleness challenge with women living well.  And let me tell ya ~ I'm having a tough time.   But I truly know it is something I need to work on.  And it is so convicting because it has been around me the last few days.  At my MOPS (mothers of pre-schoolers) meeting, there was a director (I think she was a family therapist too) she uses and teaches the Christian version of the nurtured heart method of parenting.   And WOW.  As she was teaching, the conviction that I was getting.  Some of the things that she had talked about ways of NOT parenting, I had just done like an hour before.  And I'm so thankful.  I'm considering signing up for one of her monthly seminars.  I need it.  

So, that is what's going on here.  Hope your year is shaping up to be a great one!

Gentleness

Courtney at http://womenlivingwell.org/ is hosting this challenge.  And it caught my eye.  I have a problem at times with anger and yelling.  And what caught my eye about this is she said it was aimed towards mommies who get angry.  And it is so me, unfortunately.   So, I am going to take this challenge to try to become a better mommy to my boys.  They deserve the best mommy around.  So I will do what I can to be that!  Oh, Lord that I could be a gentle mama!

Come join me!

2012 Word

I was sharing with Xavier tonight as I was tucking him in that a few years back, I saw some bloggers I follow talk about their "word for the year", and how CRAZY I thought they were.  I mean, come on?!  Seriously?!  One word?!  UGH.  Ridiculous.
Then last year, I saw it and read their blogs about their "word" and thought, okay, maybe I understand it.  Whatever.
This year, I started thinking, I want a word.  One word that will be my theme for the year.  Yes.  I am going to be one of those CRAZY bloggers.  So I had started thinking about it a couple of days before Christmas.  And I would just go through my day praying and thinking about it.  And a few days ago, I read a verse and I knew that was going to be my word for the year.
KNOW.  That's my word.  Know.  Then today, in church, our Pastor preached out of the same text that I came across the other day.  Philippians 3:10 (well, he used the whole chapter, but that was his theme verse).  That I may KNOW him.  I want to know HIM more this year than I did last year.  And I will admit, shamedly, that I didn't strive to learn more about HIM last year.  I was having a rough year ~ since about August 2010 it had been rough.   But, the fog in my brain and on my heart is starting to clear just a little bit, and I am longing to know this ONE who gave me everything and who gave everything for me.  My theme verses for this year are:
Philippians 3:8-14

More than that, I count all things to be loss in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them but rubbish so that I may gain Christ, and may be found in Him, not having a righteousness of my own derived from the Law, but that which is through faith in Christ, the righteousness which comes from God on the basis of faith, that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death; in order that I may attain to the resurrection from the dead. Not that I have already obtained it or have already become perfect, but I press on so that I may lay hold of that for which also I was laid hold of by Christ Jesus. Brethren, I do not regard myself as having laid hold of it yet; but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. 

                                 {NASB}

Such powerful words.  Such awesome verses.   Like I said before, we've had some pretty crappy things happen to us in the last year and a half.  But, I decided that I want to put it all behind me.  FORGET what went on back there, stop dwelling in the past {and yes, that may require me to forget some people and let them take their place as simply a memory} and look forward to the promise of the clean slate of a brand new year.  I want to KNOW CHRIST in ways that I haven't before.  I want to know the power of HIS resurrection.  I want to know the fellowship of HIS suffering.  Everything I've went through, HE has been experiencing it with me.  How precious is that?!  

I know I have LOTS to work on this year.  And, there are some things that are just too tender and raw for me right now.  So, instead of working on those things, I decided that I just need to KNOW my Saviour.  I need to KNOW that HE is right here beside me.   I need to KNOW HIM.  And somehow all the rest will just work out.  

And, another way I'm wanting to use KNOW ~ I want to get to KNOW my family in a new way.  I want to get to KNOW my husband in a deeper more intimate way.  I want to get to KNOW my boys and learn better ways in which to train them to be men of God.  I want to get to KNOW so many things.  But for this year, KNOWING my Saviour and my guys is enough.  

So, how about you?!  Do you have a word for this year?!  Or do you think I've joined the rank of the crazies?!  And that's okay because I have ;D !  Would you mind sharing your word?!  I love comments!