Okay I'm here again

So, I didn't get back to posting those other pictures! I'll get to it eventually!

We had a good Christmas. EXTREMELY exhausting. But good.

On Christmas Eve, we went over to Aunt Terry's for ham dinner and family time and games. The boys LOVE it over there what with the game room above the garage and all. I love being over at Aunt Terry's just because I love spending time with them! Last year, I still had all my wrapping left to do and was up for hours after that to get it all done. This year, we thought ahead and so when we got home at 10:30 pm from Aunt Terry's we just had to get the boys in their Christmas jammies (which we opened up earlier in the day) and get them in bed. Then Jesse and I got out all the presents (half were already out) and put the stockings together then we got to relax and have hot cocoa and watch some of a movie! Then off to bed BEFORE MIDNIGHT.

Christmas morning, I woke to the sound of whispers in the living room. Xav and Tuck were up and we went in and woke Gunner up and the hours spent wrapping those presents were discarded in about 20 minutes! LOL ~ But SO. WORTH. IT. It was great. The boys got all that they asked Santa for, plus got more on top of that. Jesse completely surprised me by having bought me a "big girl camera". I was so excited. And COMPLETELY unexpected. I'll try to get a picture in the mirror with it, so I can show it off! I told him that that was probably the BEST present he ever got me.

Then we went to present-palooza at my father in laws and we spent the entire day over there. While us girls were getting the finger foods ready for the open house that night ~ I somehow sprained my wrist and it was all swollen, and it hurt! Then I started not feeling well AT ALL. when we got home that night, I just kept getting worse and Tucker and Gunner were also not well. So we spent all day Sunday resting, and trying to recuperating (which none of us are still completely well). I think my body still is not acclimated to frigid Northern temperatures.

So, that was our Christmas in a nutshell. Missed my family terribly. Hoping to possibly go there next year. But, it was a good Christmas.
How was yours?!

Merry Christmas

I know I have been super duper bad about blogging. So, here's my attempt!

Jesse finally got home and we are thoroughly enjoying it. He is working his shift now ~ 12 hours 6 pm to 6 am. He leaves about 4:30 pm and gets home usually no later than 7;15 ish am. He doesn't have his creds yet, so he is just going in in civies. and doesn't get his badge or gun yet, so he's quite disappointed about that. But very grateful for his job ~ he just went up a pay grade due to time in service! THAT is awesome!

Before he got home, it was a mad dash to get everything done, but I accomplished it and it looked like Christmas threw up in my house! Here are some pictures! before the Christmas tree.
This one is why he requested it mostly be done before he got home:


Here's some of the other decorations!

the piano all decked out

my corner hutch

the front entry way

my file cabinet

I've got lights in my front window, lighted garland in my living room over the door and in my kitchen above my cabinets. I love decorating for Christmas. SO. MUCH. FUN. Some (ahem, Jesse) say I over do it, but it's hard not to!

On Saturday, we got our tree. So fun ~ we went to lowe's and argued, Ilike this one, no I like this one and I went finally to the last aisle of live trees and picked one out and we both said THAT'S IT! It is beautiful and perfectly imperfect. It only had one bare spot, but we were able to fill it in with branches cut from the bottom to get it in the stand right!

Here's some pix of the tree and us decorating it. We used 7 strands of lights white and multicolored!

Jesse bringing the tree in:


Here's the ornaments on the table waiting to be used. This is only half of what we normally put on:


I have to jet off here now ~ later on, I will post pix of us decorating the tree and the final results of it! TTYL!
Merry Christmas!

And so the holidays have begun

We had a pretty good Thanksgiving. We are SO blessed in my family. We were missing 2 people this year. Jesse away at federal Police Academy and Christine. Missing her was almost tangible for me. I spent pretty much the week leading up to Thanksgiving pretty much weeping for missing her. And, I'm afraid that Christmas is going to be even harder cause it was "her holiday". She did it up so well. But, I think we are just going to have to muddle through this holiday season.

I have so much to be grateful for ~ my faith, my family, my friends, my freedom, my home, my health, and my heritage. God has blessed us so utterly and completely. I can never thank HIM enough.

Right now, I am in the process of cleaning and decorating. Jesse has requested that all decorating be done before he gets home. I refuse though to get the tree until he gets home! And he should be home Friday night! OMG (oh my gosh) I AM SO EXCITED. I cannot even begin to explain! It has been a very long 8 weeks. And wouldn't you know it, I'm just getting used to this whole single mommy thing! But I am so grateful my other half will be here this weekend! I love him so much and am so grateful that I don't have to spend the rest of my life without him.

The boys miss him so INCREDIBLY! They have pretty much cried themselves to sleep most every night. It was heart wrenching. But Friday that should be remedied! YAY! But they don't know yet. And I'm not planning on telling them until Friday, since he is flying standby so i don't want to get their hopes up until he is on his way! But we can't wait.

Anyhoo ~ I know I haven't been on much, but will try to post more! Hopefully I can post Christmas decorating pictures too!
I hope ya'll have a wonderful Christmas season!

Trying to get back to normalcy

That's all.
We have been so busy. Not like that is a shocker. On Monday morning, Jesse's gramma Berg passed on to glory. We miss her, but one of his cousins remarked when they were here for Christine's funeral, that Gramma Berg hasn't really been Gramma for quite a while. Heaven was pretty much her longing. So we celebrated that she got her true hearts desire.
At her funeral, Jesse's dad made the comment at how surprised Gramma must've been when she got to heaven to be greeted by Christine. She probably asked "How did you get here before me?" Dave also said that it would be just like Christine to have been up in heaven lobbying for her mother to be loosed from her chains of this life.
We are so happy that Gramma is with her Sonny and Christine. Not that we aren't jealous. But, oh, what a family reunion that awaits us. I CAN'T WAIT!

I gotta say, I didn't expect to cry like I did at her funeral. Yes, we miss her, but she has been longing for heaven, and she has been suffering for 10 years, it was a relief to see her at peace. But I think that we are still raw with grief over our loss of Christine. And we are jealous that Gramma gets to be with her. We still miss Christine so acutely. Her absence is still so hurtful for me. Tears still fall almost once a day. Some days more than that. But, we are just putting one foot in front of the other.

Because of all that has went on the past month and a half, we are severely behind in our school work. We are about 9 days behind. The goal is to, when Jesse is gone for a few weeks, to do make up days on Saturdays. And hopefully by Christmas break, we will only be a few days behind and can make it up then.
As I am typing this, I am sitting in Tucker's class listening to him quote his Bible verses, and sing his songs of praise to Christ. And Gunner is sitting on the couch eating some dry cereal and he sings along with Tucker. It is so precious. I can hear Xavier doing the same in his room. WOW. What an utter blessing it is to have my kids love singing and worshipping God. It's such an awesome thing hearing them quote their verses. It is a blessing to see them do their best to serve God. I'm blessed to have little men who desire to do what God wants them to do. And I'm so grateful. Now, don't get me wrong, most days, they fight and gripe about cleaning their rooms. BUT .......they try.
They love to help around the house. They have both decided that they want to be able to do laundry for me. So they come down and help me. And they don't mind vacuuming for me. But to clean their room, it's a chore! But, they do have a servant's heart and I'm grateful for that.

So, anywho, we are just trying to get back to normal around here. I gotta work on getting up earlier, but that is something different in and of itself!
sorry for the ramblings!

Four Weeks

That's all it's been.
It's so hard to believe. I still cannot wrap my mind around the fact that Christine is gone. Sometimes, I still just sit and weep knowing that my children will no longer be able to spend time with her. The holidays are forever gonna be altered. Our lives are just irrevocably changed. And it hurts to have had this part of our lives ripped apart. But, it just makes me ever more grateful for the promise of Heaven.

In this last month, this song has been going through my head and my heart.





Knowing You'll Be There

The other day I passed the place,
You always liked to go
And I picked up the phone because,
I thought you'd want to know.
But I forgot you weren't there,
I miss you all these days.
That I'm reminded of your smile
And the funny things you'd Say.
I see you most at christmas, you were like, a little kid
You always loved a good surprise, and now I must admit,
That I long more for Heaven than I ever did before
You give me one more reason, and each day I want it more.

(chorus)
Knowing we can spend a life time reminiscing on the past,
Knowing I will see your face again where tender moments last
it makes me wanna go there
Knowing I wont be alone
Kowing you'll be there
Mkes it easy to go home

You left a group of fishermen
Somehow, you left me too
Though I have felt you many times,
I know you saw me through
I always long to feel your arms
And look into your eyes,
And talk foever me and you
Somewhere in paradise

Poor husband

My poor husband ~
I tell ya ~ He got the raw end of the deal.
I am SO not a great housewife. I am mediocre at best. BUT ~ I'm learning AND trying!
You'd think that after 10 years, I'd be and expert. And I was ~ way back when. I had some pretty mad cleaning skills. But that was back when we only had one, and for some time after we had our second. But let me tell ya, baby number 3, he killed my ability to keep a clean house. He is SO active. ALWAYS on the go. And he wears me out.
But, I recognize that my housecleaning skills have went down the crapper recently. And from what I have always heard ~ recognizing there is a problem is the first step :D And I am working on that.
Now, not that I'm making excuses, mind you ;) ~ But I do have 3 boys, homeschool, and have a husband with odd hours. And let me tell you ~ and it's not like you don't already know ~ but being a homeschooling SAHM of 3 boys (one who is super duper active) is like having a gazillion full time jobs.
I am SO NOT looking forward to Jesse's upcoming "deployment". He'll be leaving at an undisclosed time {not gonna post it online} for police academy at an undisclosed location :D.
I just hope that when he returns, he will find 3 still alive children (the ones he left behind, preferably :D ) and a still semi sane wife to greet him. And hopefully a clean house to boot!

And here is a song that has been running over my head all day long ~ AWESOME song. And awesome CD. I got it from my friend Kelly! Thanks!

Sing over Me ~ by Bethany Dillon

I live in the wonder of Your love
You rise like the sun in my heart
Even when the night draws near to me
There You are

I will wade in the water of mercy
I will walk in the light of Your will
Whatever should come against me
Teach me to be still
As you

Sing over me
Draw me close to rest in Your peace
Sing over me
Oh, sing

Sing of Your unending faithfulness
That knows no doubt or fear
In the face of all that I don't know yet
Remind me of who You are

You are mighty
You will save
Rejoice over me with singing
You will quiet
By Your love
Glory over me with singing

Whirlwind

For the last week and a half, my life feels like it has been a whirlwind. But at times, it feels as if time is standing still.

It is so hard to belief that Christine is gone from our presence. We are blessed to know that she is laughing and flying and worshipping her Saviour, but for me, it is bittersweet. I so wish she were still here with us, but I know God has a purpose and plan for this. I do not understand, but I am willing to trust the heart of God to know HE would never maliciously hurt and wound us. It's hard, but I trust HIM.

It's weird getting back to life. Life will be forever altered. But today starts another day that we just continue to live our lives and be forever blessed by having had a year with Christine.

The boys started school back up today ~ yes, those moans and groans you heard were from my boys. They only had a few classes to do today, being as they got let out of school early on August 25th. I didn't want the babysitter to have to hear them gripe and complain! I like people to think of my kids as angels :D, so I have to bribe as much as possible!

Jesse went back to work on Thursday and he works today. He has off Tuesday and Wednesday, then back to work at Rome Labs until Saturday. That is his last day there. On Monday, Sept 13th, he is starting his new job at the Syracuse VA hospital as a police officer there. Sometime in October, he leaves at some point for an 8 week police academy in Little Rock, Arkansas. Not necessarily lookin' forward to that ~ Yes, Jesse, I said that! {inside joke, especially since I don't think he reads my blog!} But, I believe I can survive him being gone stateside for 8 weeks if I can survive multiple deployments, sometimes to undisclosed locations!

I am busy trying to get motivated to get my basement cleaned. I had started at the beginning of summer, then got busy doing other things. I REALLY need to finish it before cold weather, cause I do NOT want to be known in the rodent community that I just opened a hotel for them. *shudder* And since Jesse will be gone soon, I gotta use him while I have him!

So, that is our life right now. I really like posting songs to each blog. So, I shall again! Here are the words to the song I referenced earlier. It is an awesome song!

All things work for our good
though sometimes we can't see how they could
struggles that break our hearts in two
sometimes blinds us to the truth

Our Father knows what's best for us
His ways are not our own
So when your pathway grows dim, and you just can't see Him
Remember you're never alone

God is too wise to be mistaken
God is too good to be unkind
So when you don't understand
When you don't see His plan
When you can't trace His hand
Trust His heart

He sees the master plan
And He holds our future in His hands
So don't live as those who have no hope
All our hope is found in Him

We see the present clearly
But He sees the first and the last
And like a tapestry He's weaving you and me to someday be just like Him

God is too wise to be mistaken
God is too good to be unkind
So when you don't understand
When you don't see His plan
When you can't trace His hand
Trust His heart

He alone is faithful and true
He alone knows what is best for you
So when you don't understand
When you don't see His plan
When you can't trace His hand trust His heart

how do you say goodbye?

I know that for those who know Christ as our Saviour, it is only just a temporary goodbye. But, it still hurts so much. Christine was one of the most awesome women, mother, wife, friend, I had ever had the pleasure of knowing

Jesse and i have been married for 10 1/2 years. We weren't able to always come and visit as much as we wanted to. But for the last year, we didn't know why, but God had moved us back here. And so we got a full year with her. Which in the big picture, is not alot AT ALL.
We each got our birthday's celebrated with her. We got one Thanksgiving, one Christmas and all the in between holiday stuff with her. My boys got to spend the night at their house a few times ~ now I wish I would've had them do it more. They got to go to the fair once with gramma and grampa. She made Sunday dinner for us every week ~ and let me tell ya, there's a lot of us. We got so much out of this last year, but it just left me hungry for more.

I don't understand why God chose to take her away from us. I still have so much to learn from her.

She was an awesome cook. She was the epitome of a housewife ~ her house always immaculate. She was Proverbs 31 personified. She was so patient. She was so kind and loving. She loved her grandkids.

She always told me ~ and pretty much everyone that Jesse was her special one, her favorite. And I'm so grateful that we were here for a year. I miss her so deeply, that I cannot imagine how her children hurt. I never knew it would be so devastating to lose someone SO vital to a family. Are we strong enough to go on without her? She wouldn't have it any other way.
She lived her life for God and Heaven, and now she is with HIM. She fought a good fight, finnished her course, and kept the faith. Now there are many crowns laid up for her. She left a legacy behind. Not just one of the trivial ones. But she left me behind an example to follow. A life to emulate. She taught me to be kind, love my kids, have a relationship with God, serve others selflessly. She taught it to me not just in words, but by deeds. And I hope that one day, I can finish my course with little regrets to how I lived my life.
As my father in law has been saying ~ she was an unusual woman. She was hard for me to understand at times when I lived away. But in the past year, I got to know her and see her in a new light. And I understand somewhat those unusual ways.
But she leaves me a legacy behind. I know I can't live up to it the way she did. But she never expected me too. If I had said to her "I can't do it as you do" I know she would laughed that wonderful laugh of her's and humbly say that she doesn't do much, but that you can do only what you can do.
She never thought she was anything special. SHE WAS. And we all LOVED her. But I pray that, as she is now a part of that great cloud of witnesses, that I may live life, no, not to honor her because she would be angry about that, but that I may live my life to honor HIM who she served. She taught me that ~ honor God and the rest will take care of itself.
So, as today starts 2 very long HARD days of goodbyes, I would just like to say for the record. We miss her and her influence. But we hope we can honor her, by honoring God.

When the sacred is torn

Who told us we'd be rescued
What has changed and
Why should we be saved from nightmares
We're asking why this happens to us
Who have died to live, it's unfair

[Chorus]
This is what it means to be held
How it feels, when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive
This is what it is to be loved and to know
That the promise was when everything fell
We'd be held

This hand is bitterness
We want to taste it and
Let the hatred numb our sorrows
The wise hand opens slowly
To lilies of the valley and tomorrow

If hope is born of suffering
If this is only the beginning
Can we not wait, for one hour
Watching for our savior
[Chorus]
This is what it means to be held
How it feels, when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive
This is what it is to be loved and to know
That the promise was when everything fell
We'd be held

This is a song by Natalie Grant.

This is how I feel tonight. Like the sacred has been torn from my life.
This morning around 12:30 am, my mother in law, Christine Mae McCoy, fly home to be with Jesus. Which makes me cherish another song called Untitled Hymn by Chris Rice
the last verse says:
And with your final heartbeat
Kiss the world goodbye
Then go in peace, and laugh on Glory's side, and
Fly to Jesus
Fly to Jesus
Fly to Jesus and live!

She wanted to fly in Heaven. Now she is.
She had been sick a while. But yesterday, she declined FAST. And finally, after her family had told her of their love, (I can't speak for everyone here, but I told her it was okay if she wanted to just fly to heaven); most of us had went home to put our sad and grouchy kids to bed. My father in law, Dave, Jesse (my hubby) and Seth, my brother in law, stayed at the Hospital. And Jesse sitting by her bedside watched as her heart rate would spike, then drastically drop for a few minutes then it just stopped all together. That is when she kissed the world goodbye and was able to laugh on Glory's side. She flew to Jesus.
But the sacred was torn from us. She was our mother. She was our gramma. She was our sister. She was our friend. She was a HUGE MAJOR part of our lives. And she is no longer with us. And that hurts so deeply.
In no way would I beg her to come back ~ though I (and we) so would take her back. She is no longer in pain or suffering like she was. But we miss her so much.
I'm grateful beyond words for the peace, comfort, and assurance we have of heaven.
And like Aunt Terry kept saying yesterday, we aren't crying for her, cause she's gaining Heaven. We are weeping for our loss. And it is so true. We miss her beyond words.
It was so strange today, being at her house. It is so filled with her personality. She was always to one to be up and about getting things ready for whatever was happening ~ dishes out, food prepared. But she wasn't and it felt so empty without her there. There was a lot of people there, but you could just feel her presence gone. And WE MISS HER.
There is a sacredness in the ordinary. One that I didn't realize that I took for granted until today. And the sacred was torn from us. While searching tonight for photos of her, I realized there weren't many. There weren't many of her and the grandkids. There weren't any of her and I. There weren't many of her and so many things that I wish now that I had taken. I wish I had pictures of her cooking. I wish I had helped her more, learned more from her. I wish so many things.
But I pray that maybe, I will learn from this and be able to say from here on out, I have no more regrets.
Today, the sacred was torn from us, but BLESSED BE THE LORD. HE knows how to touch our hearts and bring us sweet peace. The sacred was torn from us, but HE knows how to repair it someday. I am so grateful for the promise and peace of Heaven, knowing that one day, HE will wipe these tears from our eyes.
The sacred was torn from us. But, still, HE is so kind, loving and merciful.
The sacred was torn from us ~ but not forever.

Week 2

Wow, it's hard to believe that we are already into week 2 with school. Life has truly been a whirlwind of non stop activity it seems.

So far, Xavier has more work/homework than he can truly appreciate. I'm glad though, cause he needs all practice he can get ~ his 2 problem areas this year will be his penmanship ~ that took a severe hit last year and ABeka is very very strict with their grading of penmanship ~ and math. When you watch the videos, they do oral combinations, which means the teachers says something like 9+5-8x3-2/4= then those kids on video blurt out the answer (the answer is 4). But while Xav is still stuck trying to figure out what 9+5= they have already answered and on the next question. I think 3rd grade was a key year that we really just crippled Xavier with not having him do. And I feel bad about that. But, he is starting to get quicker. It only needs time and practice. Also with Math they have speed drills they have to do, but poor lil man only usually gets like 3 done before time is up. I feel badly for him, but he is just gonna have to get used to it. If any of my teacher friends have any good advice to help with his math issues ~ I'm open to suggestions. Oh, yeah and another thing he has a hard time with is keeping up with them in spelling/poetry/verse recitation. He seems like he lags, but I just have to keep telling him not to go back and "get" the words/letters he missed, but keep moving on and he's finally catching on.

Tucker, who before school even started would cry and say how scared he was, has now decided that he LOVES school. His video teacher, Mrs. Bere, does such an awesome job making it exciting for them. I only hope that he can get how to write in cursive. They start out with little i then move on to little u; he did awesome with little i but the little u is giving him a run for his money. he wants to just straight lines not the curvey, bounce off the floor touch the ceiling bounce off the floor, fluid movements. So that is his challenge. But other than writing, he loves it.

Gunner ~ oh, that little demon child. He's totally full of it. He is so full of sweetness and love one minute, the next he is full blown wild ornery and evil. Just the other day, I couldn't find his sippy cups ANYWHERE, so I was forced to give him an open cup ~ which he does fine with, but has to stay on the table. So, I'm in the kitchen and look in the living room and he has his cup and I tell him "Gunner go put that cup on the table" and he looks at me with those beautiful eyes and gives me a look that says "you can't stop this" and deliberately and maliciously dumps the entire contents of the cup of chocolate milk on my carpet. Then gets this smug look on his face of "how do you like me now". OH.MY.WORD. That child got his tiny hiney whupped. But not even an hour later, he did it the exact same way with Tucker's cup. Oh, that child is gonna be such a handful as he gets older. Oy vey. He's lucky he's my last cause if he'd have been my first, there never would've been any more.

Jesse is supposed to start working at the VA Police in Syracuse on September 13th. He had his psych eval yesterday and passed. I'd say with flying colors, but, he didn't do so hot on the timed bubble test. As a matter of fact during his interview with the psychologist, he was asked if he was in any "special classes" in school. Today, he is getting his physical done and we are just keeping his fingers crossed that his normally outrageously high blood pressure is at least in an acceptable range.

And me, I'm just here, cleaning, and cooking, and homeschooling. I'm blessed with my life. I finally found my book again "Lies women believe" by Nancy Leigh Demoss and have picked it up again and am reading it. as always, I'm blessed by it. One lie that I have found that I tell myself all the time is I don't have time to do everything I'm supposed to do. She says that we as women try to do everything, and we run ourselves ragged and get so busy. And that is Satan's goal. To keep me so busy that I forget the important things in life. I'm here to do what God has called me to do. As a woman, I try to do it all, but in so doing, I usually put the important stuff on the back burner. So, I'm trying to simplify my life and listen and figure out what things in my life GOD wants there and what things I want there and doing my best to cut back on my wants and build my desire for what God wants me to do. I love this study it is so convicting and I have found and picked it right up where I really needed it lately. I just LOVE how God works! Isn't HE awesome!?!?!

Hopefully life can slow down a little ~

We have been back from Galesburg for less than a week and our life is still pretty hectic with unpacking, working, and getting the house ready for 2 classrooms next week.
Jesse got word that he is gonna be starting in Syracuse as a police officer at the VA next month, but in the in between, he has doctor appointments, psych evals, physicals, and overtime scheduled at Rome Labs.

I ended up having to resign my position. My boss was getting really very snooty about having to "accomodate" me so much, and since Jesse was going to be going here, there, and everywhere, and not home much, I had to quit. We start school Monday, so we have to have some sort of schedule around here. And my boss wasn't going to be willing to work around what i needed him to. I don't blame him, but my husbands job always ALWAYS trumps any part time work I do. So that was that.

We had an awesome time in Illinois. We left around 9 pm Wednesday evening and drove through the night. We were allowed to check into our hotel early and we were there at 10:30 am. So really it was only about a 14 hour trip and that was nice. Jesse did a great job driving through the worst part of the night. I finished the driving from about 6 am on. And Jesse *tried* to sleep. He doesn't sleep well when I drive, he claims I'm a bad driver. But let me tell ya ~ while in the police academy, he took defensive driving, and he drives like a cop on a high speed chase ALL. THE. TIME. So, he needs to not even want to go there :D

So, we called and arranged to have my sister meet us with my mom at pizza hut for lunch and we were able to surprise my mom by being there a day early. Then we went out, got my dad out of work a couple hours early and he was TOTALLY surprised. It was great. I have never seen my dad speechless before. And I still don't think it totally set in!
My mom, sister Dawn, and I were busy little bee's trying to get the last minute things done for the surprise party on that Saturday.
It was awesome. He was again speechless, and just totally enjoyed his party. Of course, it was hard to actually get him to sit down and eat, but he never does at hardly any function! Always the servant!
And the whole time, we were able to spend alot of the time and I think every evening in the hotel pool with my nephews and whatever miscallaneous family happened to be there. It was truly one of the best vaca's ever ~ got to spend time with my family, got to shop a little, and swam ALOT! I think the boys are still pruny!!!!!!
So, that is what we did last week ~ and tomorrow is Sunday and the start of another new week, and beginning of school. I'm excited and so is Xavier. I will do my best to keep updating my blog. I will be initiating LOTS of new habits (at least I hope they will become habits) into our daily scheduling and I'm super excited to see what God has in store for us. I'll post pix soon!

Love you all!

Today ~

Hey, all!

I know I haven't done the best keeping up with my blog much. Sheesh, with all good intentions, I had wanted to make a post at least every couple of days, but that didn't happen.

I know I know, it is still July ~ but I decided to revamp the appearance of my blog already ~ for my favorite season AUTUMN!!!!!!! I know I jumped the gun, but I couldn't help myself.

We have so much going on ~ Let me catch you up

We are searching for a church. We've tried a few, but haven't made any decisions yet. We left our other with no malice. We just wanted to keep our church family and our family family in two separate categories. Together we have never attended a church on a regular basis with family, and we are independent and rogue like that!!!!!!!!! Like I said, no malice at all. It wasn't an easy decision to make or break to Jesse's family, but I think we are getting through it okay. It was truly a little awkward at first, but I think now that the dust is settling, everything is going to be okay.
In all honesty ~ I sorely miss my church framily in South Florida. I doubt we will ever again find a church like it. And no, it had nothing to do with the pastor at the time ~ there was a deep love that we had for everyone there, that it will be hard to find again. I compare it to this ~ The love of a lifetime, and once you leave that love behind, you will never again be able to find anything like it again, unless you go back and it's still there waiting for you! Spiritually, for me ~ Bible Baptist Church of Pembroke Pines was my church love of a lifetime. LOL!! Yes, yes, I'm being overly dramatic and sappy, but oh, stinkin' well!

On to the next thing ~
We are taking a vacation at the beginning of August. We are going back to my home area of Galesburg Illinois. My dad turns 60 then, and my mom is throwing him a surprise birthday party. We are part of the surprise. I'm excited and cannot wait. It'll be nice to have a little family get-away. We haven't had one in what seems like forever. And no, I don't count a cross country move like we did at this time last year as a family get-away :D Although I already am planning our next family VACA ~ and we won't be going just to see family. I would love to drive cross country (yes, I'm crazy) and go see Mount Rushmore and that area. I used to live there and LOVE that area. And I think my guys would love it also. Now, just for the record, anyone who wants to join us when we go, we'd be more than happy to have ya! It's a LONG journey, but it is a fun one! Of course, we'd make quite a few stops along the way! Which is where the fun just begins!

The boys are getting VERY excited about starting school right after we get back from our trip to Illinois. Xavier is already begging me to let him start as soon as we get his dvd's. WEIRDO. Tucker isn't too sure yet, though. When we do talk about school, big tears well up in his eyes and spill over as he explains to me that "I'm so scared, and well, I'm just scared". Hopefully, he'll get fairly used to it in a couple days, and will love it like Xavier does.

Xavier is starting to be a great big help around the house. He does his best, and when his chores aren't done to my specs, I have to remind myself that his is only 8 ~ 9 next month. Where in the heck does time go?!?!?!?!

Tucker looked at me out of the blue the other day and he said "I'm gonna git me a woman, and git us some babies" Then he out lined that he would have 10 babies in this order: girl boy girl boy girl boy boy girl boy. The girls will have red hair, and the boys will have brown hair. It cracked me up. This coming from a kid who hides his face and cries at the mere mention of his future wife Claire-bear Grace Ooten. And heaven forbid he see her picture, you'll see my little Tucker Jay blush like crazy.
During this convo with Tucker, Xavier ~ who is also VERY bashful about girls and cries at the mention of any girls name ~ like Taegan, or Maddie, or Alex. Anyways, during Tucker's description of "gittin' me a woman" Xav claims that yes, he probably will get married, but if his wife doesn't like what he does, he will tell her, "then go get a divorce slip, woman". DON'T. ASK. ME. I don't know where he came up with that! But these guys never cease to amaze me when they come up their silliness.
Gunner, ah, what to say about Gunner. He turns 2 next week. And since about November he has been in the terrible 2's. And it's driving me insane. He is the cutest kid with the sweetest looks and laugh and smile. But man, is he ever a handful. And he's not necessarily naughty {although I must say these last few days, this kid has been in some major trouble for disobedience and naughtiness} he is just ornery. Most days I just sit on the recliner and pray for bedtime. He plum wears me out! But, when he is ready for bed, he runs and gets his "bubba" (blanket) and crawls up on my lap kisses me and just wants to cuddle. Talk about melting my heart!!!!!!! Oh, the sheer calculated sweetness of the ornery little guy!!! But I'm grateful for him ~ and for all my guys! I wouldn't trade them for the world. I would loan them for a few hours every now and then, but never anything permanent!!!! :D LOL!!!!!!!!!

Jesse is still working at Rome Labs. He loves/hates his job. But it feeds us and pays our bills so we are grateful to God for providing it for us. He is trying to get a job as a VA Police officer over in Syracuse, and they want him, so we are basically just waiting for a few technicalities and the red tape. He is SUPER excited about it. Me too, but it will require him to be in Alabama for about 8 weeks at some point for an academy. Which is fine by me, I've survived deployments overseas, so an 8 week stint with him in the states should be pretty easy!

As for me, I am working part time at Belden Jewelers. I like it, but it isn't easy. My boss who is overall ok, won't not schedule me for Sundays like I told him I wouldn't work during my interview. And I've talked to him about it, and he has been a little more flexible with not making me work all day on Sunday, so I suppose that's good. I'm grateful for my job. It is helping us pay thing off more quickly. and that is a good thing.

So, as you can see we are busy ~ juggling my schedule, Jesse's schedule, an upcoming vacation, and trying to get my scrapbook done that I'm doing for my dad's party! Oh, yeah, and 3 ornery boogers to boot!!!!!!!! But, I'm blessed and have a very blessed life, though at times, I gripe and complain, I need to remind myself of that more often!!!!!

Anyhoo ~ Good night, blog world!

Happy 4th ~ Have you read this lately?!

IN CONGRESS, JULY 4, 1776
The unanimous Declaration of the thirteen united States of America
When in the Course of human events it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. — That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, — That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security. — Such has been the patient sufferance of these Colonies; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Government. The history of the present King of Great Britain is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these States. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.

He has refused his Assent to Laws, the most wholesome and necessary for the public good.

He has forbidden his Governors to pass Laws of immediate and pressing importance, unless suspended in their operation till his Assent should be obtained; and when so suspended, he has utterly neglected to attend to them.

He has refused to pass other Laws for the accommodation of large districts of people, unless those people would relinquish the right of Representation in the Legislature, a right inestimable to them and formidable to tyrants only.

He has called together legislative bodies at places unusual, uncomfortable, and distant from the depository of their Public Records, for the sole purpose of fatiguing them into compliance with his measures.

He has dissolved Representative Houses repeatedly, for opposing with manly firmness his invasions on the rights of the people.

He has refused for a long time, after such dissolutions, to cause others to be elected, whereby the Legislative Powers, incapable of Annihilation, have returned to the People at large for their exercise; the State remaining in the mean time exposed to all the dangers of invasion from without, and convulsions within.

He has endeavoured to prevent the population of these States; for that purpose obstructing the Laws for Naturalization of Foreigners; refusing to pass others to encourage their migrations hither, and raising the conditions of new Appropriations of Lands.

He has obstructed the Administration of Justice by refusing his Assent to Laws for establishing Judiciary Powers.

He has made Judges dependent on his Will alone for the tenure of their offices, and the amount and payment of their salaries.

He has erected a multitude of New Offices, and sent hither swarms of Officers to harass our people and eat out their substance.

He has kept among us, in times of peace, Standing Armies without the Consent of our legislatures.

He has affected to render the Military independent of and superior to the Civil Power.

He has combined with others to subject us to a jurisdiction foreign to our constitution, and unacknowledged by our laws; giving his Assent to their Acts of pretended Legislation:

For quartering large bodies of armed troops among us:

For protecting them, by a mock Trial from punishment for any Murders which they should commit on the Inhabitants of these States:

For cutting off our Trade with all parts of the world:

For imposing Taxes on us without our Consent:

For depriving us in many cases, of the benefit of Trial by Jury:

For transporting us beyond Seas to be tried for pretended offences:

For abolishing the free System of English Laws in a neighbouring Province, establishing therein an Arbitrary government, and enlarging its Boundaries so as to render it at once an example and fit instrument for introducing the same absolute rule into these Colonies

For taking away our Charters, abolishing our most valuable Laws and altering fundamentally the Forms of our Governments:

For suspending our own Legislatures, and declaring themselves invested with power to legislate for us in all cases whatsoever.

He has abdicated Government here, by declaring us out of his Protection and waging War against us.

He has plundered our seas, ravaged our coasts, burnt our towns, and destroyed the lives of our people.

He is at this time transporting large Armies of foreign Mercenaries to compleat the works of death, desolation, and tyranny, already begun with circumstances of Cruelty & Perfidy scarcely paralleled in the most barbarous ages, and totally unworthy the Head of a civilized nation.

He has constrained our fellow Citizens taken Captive on the high Seas to bear Arms against their Country, to become the executioners of their friends and Brethren, or to fall themselves by their Hands.

He has excited domestic insurrections amongst us, and has endeavoured to bring on the inhabitants of our frontiers, the merciless Indian Savages whose known rule of warfare, is an undistinguished destruction of all ages, sexes and conditions.

In every stage of these Oppressions We have Petitioned for Redress in the most humble terms: Our repeated Petitions have been answered only by repeated injury. A Prince, whose character is thus marked by every act which may define a Tyrant, is unfit to be the ruler of a free people.

Nor have We been wanting in attentions to our British brethren. We have warned them from time to time of attempts by their legislature to extend an unwarrantable jurisdiction over us. We have reminded them of the circumstances of our emigration and settlement here. We have appealed to their native justice and magnanimity, and we have conjured them by the ties of our common kindred to disavow these usurpations, which would inevitably interrupt our connections and correspondence. They too have been deaf to the voice of justice and of consanguinity. We must, therefore, acquiesce in the necessity, which denounces our Separation, and hold them, as we hold the rest of mankind, Enemies in War, in Peace Friends.

We, therefore, the Representatives of the united States of America, in General Congress, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good People of these Colonies, solemnly publish and declare, That these united Colonies are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent States, that they are Absolved from all Allegiance to the British Crown, and that all political connection between them and the State of Great Britain, is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as Free and Independent States, they have full Power to levy War, conclude Peace, contract Alliances, establish Commerce, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent States may of right do. — And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of Divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes, and our sacred Honor.

— John Hancock

Ay, yi yi!!!!!!

At least, I think that's how it's spelled!!!!!!!!

Phew, I've been a busy little chica!!!!!!!!!!!
It's summer, so Xavier is out of school, which means, he's home a little more, which means another one underfoot, but he is a big help, if he sets his mind to it. Granted, they do play outside ALOT, which does help me accomplish stuff, but nevertheless!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But I love it! And I've gotta get used to it since he's gonna be homeschooling next year!!!!!!

And Suzanne, my sister in law, has been having to work at the smoothie shop alot more lately, so we've been helping them out by watching their 4 (yes, I said 4) alot more lately!!!!!!!!!!!

Then I started my job at Belden's jewelers last week. I like it, but I HATE having to leave my 4 guys. I'm just hoping I can make enough to get some stuff paid off and to save some money for our upcoming trip!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jesse is doing good at his job, he wishes it were more exciting, but he'll survive.
Tucker is already talking about school next year. He's excited, yet SCARED. He's already said that he wants to start when Xav does ~ which he will cause we should receive both of their dvd sets at the same time. Xav has said that he wants to start as soon as we get them in July! He LOVES homeschooling!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I hope Tucker feels the same way!
Gunner is REALLY cantakerous. But, I love him to bits. He is saying so many things. It's amazing. Tucker really didn't say anything until he was over 3. So it is fun to hear Gunner say full phrases and he's not even 2!!!!!!

So, there's my little update on my busy hectic life. I will try to be a better blogger!

It's beginning to feel alot like SUMMER

Today was a GORGEOUS day. It was very warm. For a little more than a week, we have been tilling up the garden at my inlaws house. And we expanded it. It has been fun. I've never done a garden before. We tried in florida, but truly, you have to have just the right place for it there, and we SO did not! So, I have truly been enjoying this.
We tilled the garden a few times, and we went over before school got out, for Jesse to till it again. With this ~ a family heirloom. It was Grampa McCoy's who I believe purchased it new.



And this is just a portion of some of the things we planted. We planted close to 60 tomato plants. And close to 25 cucumber plants. And all sorts of peppers, broccoli, cauliflower, green beans, sweet peas, and onions.



It was beautifully warm today and so while some of us were working in the garden, the little ones played in the water






And this is my gorgeous sister in law Kayte (she has a great blog too ~ http://yadayadayadamayhemmusings.blogspot.com/ )who is very close to 5 months pregnant ~ doesn't that make you sick?!?!?!?!?!?!




So, we had a great day and I had great fun. Except, now I am so exhausted. So I must sign off for tonight!

TaTa

Today

Well, I am going to update my blog! I started a 90 a picture a day thing (http://90dayphotoproject.blogspot.com/) and will be signing with my blog address, so I guess it's going to keep me a little more regular with my posts!!!

Today, I went to the park with the boys and 2 of my nephews. It made me miss the South Florida parks we had ~ granted, few and far between, but most of them had fences around the actual playland area and they were for the most part covered with awnings. Which was super duper nice, still blazin' hot, but nice!!! Oh, well, I am a New Yorker now.

Gotta say, maybe it's because my husband was/is a cop, but I can't stand it when people (ok, so men especially) come up and just start chattin' you up. I'm here to let my kids run their energy out and be in some semblance of peace and quiet, so BACK OFF. And I ESPECIALLY hate it when they start getting hands on with your kids. Or "their" kids start asking you to help them get in the swings or get on the playground equipment. I ended up telling this one disturbing dude that I have a "hands off" policy unless it is my children and thatI would appreciate him keeping his hands off my kid. Apparently this makes me "not neighborly". I DON'T CARE. I am just protecting my kids from the many weirdo's in normal people clothing as I can. It's my job. so STUFF IT!!!!!!!!!!!

But, after that, we had a great time! I had every intent to take my Bible study book and read it, and I had taken a few mag's I just got in the mail to browse through, but I couldn't. No seating :( but I did get to watch Gunner more closely and see his circuit he was moving in. Up the stairs
,

down the spiral slide


(or tornado slide, as I used to call it) then running by me, giving me a five ,

before heading up the stairs again. And yes, he is a handful!!!!

The other boys were having a good time just running all around




So, I had a good day with the guys!!!!!!!! I do love living in NY for the weather now that it is starting to warm up!!!!!!!!

TaTa!

Wow, it seems like forever

Since I've posted another blog!!!!!! I truly doubt I have many readers who sit on the edge of their seats just WAITING for me to blog about my interesting life!

Anywho.....

I have been quite busy lately.
Last weekend, we pulled off a grand surprise party for my inlaws birthdays (their 60th) and we actually did surprise them! Which according to many around here that is a feat!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It was so much fun. A TON of work, and even more $$$$$$$$$, but I so enjoy doing things like that! And it makes it great when it is appreciated!!!!

Also, I started with some of my lovely friends from South FLorida, a Bible study called "Lies Women Believe and the Truth that Sets Them Free". It is totally AWESOME. There are so many things I am learning. The most radical thing I have learned in just the first 3 chapters is that ~ "we will ALWAYS have unfulfilled longings this side of heaven." I seriously had never heard that taught before by any teacher or preacher in any church. If I had I truly don't recognize it. This truth just totally makes me look back on my life and realize that when I had longings throughoutmy life, I kept looking for ways to fulfill those needs and I realize that there were just some things that couldn't be filled. I always begged God to show me how to "fix" whatever problems it was, but I never fully turned to HIM and begged HIM to BE the fulfillment of that need. I have realized that there will always be a void in some form or another in my life and I have to ........."train" myself to look to God to fill those voids, and become content and comfortable with those voids. And make sure that I turn to HIM to fulfill the deepest needs of my heart.

Anyways, I just HAD to share that with someone! I shared on my fb page, but it was so radical that I can't wait to just tell people about it!!!!!

A lot accomplished

Or, so it seems. To most, people would probably laugh at why I feel like I accomplished so much. But, my productivity level lately has been so low, that I just feel pleased with what I got done ~ I got my kitchen mostly cleaned (didn't sweep or mop) some laundry done, errands ran, and ........................Well, wow, now that I'm typing it, I guess I really didn't get hardly anything done. But, while Xavier was away at youth group ~ Gunner, Tucker and I got to sit on the recliner snuggled under a warm blanket watching some nature shows and we all 3 took a little cat nap, so maybe that accounts for the satisfied accomplished feeling ~ I got my nap in!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
We are in the process of considering moving some things around in our house. Maybe moving into the boys bedroom, and them into ours. It would be a nice change, seeing as I think both Jesse and I are just getting an itch to move! Right now, we are living cheaply and so, able to pay off some bills that we had run up while living in South Florida ~ cause it weren't cheap living there. So, we'd like to stay in our apt. for as long as possible and live as cheaply as possible until we are completely solvent, then move when we can!!!!!!!!! Although, I really like our apt, even though it is small, it is cozy. AND, if we move our rooms around, I'm thinking we might be able to move a couple more pieces of furniture down and utilize them more, which means MORE STORAGE SPACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So, I guess we shall see.
One of my favorite hobby's is scrapbooking. I'll admit, I'm not the greatest at it, but I find it cathartic, but since we moved here, I have been unable to do any of it, but now that we are starting to settle in here and get some semblance of organization, I'm thinking I need to start scrapbooking again. I am setting a goal of starting on Friday. So I MUST have all my other house work done, so I can work on it after Jesse leaves for work. And maybe, just maybe I can get some accomplished, cause I have Ideas galore about how to do it, and not have to worry about packing it all away when I'm done, but we'll just have to see how that works out.
So, anyways...............I must get some more stuff done! TaTa!

Today:

I have this sinus stuff going on, and I haven't been feeling my best so I did almost nothing today. I got around to the dishes ~ which, if you read my previous posts, I consider that an accomplishment! But I didn't do what I really wanted to today.

Jesse and I started doing P90x. He loves it. He's all motto and all that and is just ridiculous about it. I have a love/hate relationship with it. I hate doing it, but love when it's done. But, I'll be honest, I haven't really given it my all. BUT, I can see some improvement. Which Jesse says (i'll paraphrase) to start exercising when you're a fat lazy slug, you will DEFINITELY see results. Don't get all up in arms. He was a great completely PC husband and never used the words fat lazy slug, but once it went past my ear drums, that is how my brain processed it for the simple fact that I have to tell myself that to even do this program HALFWAY!
So, anyhow, I was a sick dog ~ well, not really, just sinus stuff that made my head all full and gave me a massive pressure headache, then my arms got all achy and my legs, but I PROMISE. I didn't just slack off from them today. I was really hurtin'. but I plan (I mean, I will) do them tomorrow, and I will try my hardest to do better than half way. Maybe 3/4. I mean, heck, I'm seeing some pretty good results for giving less than 50% :D

Anyways ~ I started up late doing something last night that I usually only reserve for tremendously boring evenings (you know the kind, internets down, dvd player won't work, and all channels but this one won't get the right signals)I watched the healthcare debates on CSpan. And sometimes flipped back to FoxNews during the actually votes, cause I really don't like elevator music when I'm in an elevator let alone willing enduring it! So, I watched, and I just couldn't help myself but yell at the tv or clap at appropriate times.

John Boehner did an awesome job with his speech and some of the other Repubs who I caught making their speeches. They made me proud to call myself a Republican again. I've been quite an armchair ..................can't really call myself an activist, unless you can call yelling at stupid politicians who can't hear me through the tv activism. So it inspired me to become more involved other than making a few phone calls or emails every now and then. I need to become more involved in my country. The direction that my country is going is hardly my fault, but mostly my fault. I've been complacent. My philosophy has been, what does it matter in the end, cause, I'm gonna end up in heaven. But, if what is happening in my country causes me to fret, toss and turn, and my blood pressure to shoot up to unhealthy levels, then, maybe, just maybe if I do a little bit more, I can sleep better at night and know that what I've done is all I can do. So, I'm gonna be more involved. I don't know how, yet. I don't know what I'll do. But I want to do something more than be a lazy screamer at the tv. That way, if my country goes down the tubes, I won't have to wonder "what if I would've just got a little more involved".

So, on other fronts, Xav enjoyed a week off from school. Tucker enjoyed having Xav off from school. They pretty much played outside all week cause it was wonderful SPRING-y weather (woohoo). And Gunner pretty much cried all week wanting so badly to be outside playing with his brothers. So, yep, I was going a little bit crazy!!!!
Saturday night, Jesse worked his shift and pulled a double working the next shift on Sunday morning. He was EXHAUSTED and still is and he is working tonight (his regular night off) and pulling a double shift tomorrow ~ another night off. he'll be getting almost 40 hours of overtime this week which, let me just tell you is NI-HI-HI-HI-HICE (NICE). Which will go a ways in our goal of trying to get out of debt in a year-ish!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anywho.............I gots to get the other 2 guys in bed for the night so TA TA~~

Things I hate

My most loathed chore around the house is ~ doing dishes. I truly miss my dishwasher ~ He's at work today ;) Just kidding ~ Well, Jesse is at work, but I miss my dishwasher appliance.
Don't get me wrong, I miss Jesse when he's working. But today, I have a backed up pile of dishes and I am just sitting here watching tv with Gunner and the other 2 are playing video games. So instead of just doing them, I am dreadfully anticipating the actual doing of them! Do you have a chore like that? The rest of them, are neither here nor there, just a nuisance, but I can't stand dishes. I would love to be able to pay someone to come and do my dishes. The rest of the house, I will take care of, but dishes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anywho, enough of my complaining about housework ~ I'll complain about how fast my baby is growing up.
Lately Gunner has been wanting to sit at the table to eat with the rest of us, and not in his highchair. So I bought him a booster seat last night. It's so sad cause he's my baby :') and he shouldn't be that big yet. But he is.

So, I've decided that I haven't been doing very good with my Bible memory here the past few months, so I've decided that I'm gonna start today. And I'm gonna start with verses that apply to different issues I'm facing in my life. Right now, I'm starting on verses that deal with something I hate about my self. Anger. I get angry easily, so I decided to stop trying to change it myself, and realized that I have never truly laid it down at the foot of the cross. So I woke up this morning determined not to pick it back up as the day goes along. Gotta just keep that in my mind! Then my next set of verses are gonna be about contentment. I'm not a very content person, so I have a few things that I have to work on!

So, even though I hate to, gotta sign off for now, and get busy on my chores today ~ hated or not!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What are your favorite songs

to sing to your little ones?

I have so many! Each of mine have a song just for them. Some are plagariazed and add their names to them. Some are made up. And others I just love to sing to them!

This is the one that got me thinking about this. I always sing it to Gunner while I'm cleaning his nose out, or wiping it, or if he's just being one:

Boogers boogers in my nose
Boogers in between my toes
Boogers, boogers in my hair
Boogers boogers everywhere!

At bedtime, I made up a song that I then added a disney song to

Good night my love
I'll see you in the morning
Sweet dreams to you
The whole night through
Good Night, Good Night My loves

(and add the "Rainbow" Song {as Tucker calls it})
A dream is a wish your heart makes
when you're fast asleep
In dreams you can lose your heartaches
Whatever you wish for you keep.
Have faith in your dreams and someday
Your Rainbows will come smiling through
No matter how your heart is grieving
If you keep on believing
A dream that you wish will come True.

Xavier's song is Thank you Lord
Thank you Lord for Xavier my son
Thank you Lord for this little one
Thank you Lord so Precious to me
I'll be the best Mom that I can be

Tucker's is (people from where I went to college should know this tune)
I love you Tucker Jay
Oh, yes I do
I don't love anyone
Like I love you
When you're not with me
I'm blue
Oh, Tucker Jay I love you

and the alternate one for Tuck is because of his nickname Tucker Duck:
Tucker Ducky, you're the one
You make my bath time so much fun.
Tucker Ducky we're awfully fond of you
Tucker Ducky, you're the one
You make my life time lots of fun
Tucker Ducky we're awfully fond of YOU!

And Gunner's song is one I made up:
Gunner Ethan is our Guy
Gunner Ethan is our Guy
Gunner Ethan is our Guy
He's our guy born in July
Gunner Ethan is our Guy!

And of course I love to sing tons of other songs with them ~ mostly songs we learned at camps or VBS or in school!

Songs are just so fun! My favorite all time little kid song we learned at Junior camp this year: Cast your burdens, upon Jesus, He cares for You. Just a cute song with about a gazillion verses that are equally cute! I love to hear kids sing, so sometimes I force my guys to just sing for me. And they love it when I have the cd's going in my truck, they sing along and it is encouraging to me to hear my guys sing songs and begin to grasp the messages of them. My favorite that I love to hear them sing in the car is on my blog playlist ~ Voice of Truth by Casting Crowns. It is also one of my faves of all! IT's a good'un.

Well, I must sign off for the night. I wasn't a very motivated cleaner of the house today, so I need to try to get something done before Jesse gets home from work tonight!

Peace, love and blessings!♪♪♫♫♪♪

As I assume.......

most of my readers are mostly women, and mostly moms.

So, this kinda goes along with my last post ~

What is the one verse you find yourself quoting to your children the most? And what is the verse you cling to as a mom?

The first question is an easy one for me ~
Ephesians 4:32
And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.

I find too often that kids can just plain be MEAN. And it is a verse I often find myself quoting to remind me to be kind to my little guys. It's one of the first verses that the guys memorize.
There are so many parts to it ~ it emphasizes I think all aspects of life ~ Doing good and being kind to others, keeping your heart soft and open, no matter what, forgiving when others have wronged you, and in brief outlines salvation. The way I explain that to my little men is that God models this behaviour to uss all. But HE doesn't have to. And HE doesn't do it for us or because of who we are or how we live. HE is kind, tenderhearted and forgiving because of Christ's sacrifice on the cross. And if God can forgive us for having caused Christ's death, then why can't we forgive our friend for saying something mean to us, and continuing to be kind and not say mean things back. I love this verse for little ones. But I also love it for me in every aspect of my life. But it is a HARD verse to live!

The next verse that I cling to as a mom is a little more difficult to pinpoint. But, I like I Thes. 5:24
Faithful is he that calleth you, who also will do it.

I will be the first and the fastest to admit that I am not the best mom out there. I don't think I would even qualify myself as a good mom. I'm okay, and that's all I will admit to. My kids, claim different, but they don't see all my faults. and they are kids after all!!!!!!!!!
But, I believe with all my heart that being a mom (I say especially to little boys, but in no way belittling mothering girls!) is a pretty tough job. But I further believe that being a true God-fearing Christian mom, is even tougher. And I see it as a calling. And when I get discouraged about how horrible of a mom I am and can't understand why God, in HIS infinite wisdom and judgement, allowed 3 sweet little souls to entrusted to MY care, this verse speaks to me. HE never gives us more than we can handle. And as long as I look to HIM for wisdom, mercy and grace, HE will be faithful to keep me going on. HE's the one who knows who I am that NOBODY else knows and what I can and can't handle. HE's faithful and HE will do it ~ if I let HIM work through me, HE will be the one that raises my children. I'm just the tool. I'm just the vessel.
And I'll admit, sometimes ~ a lot of times ~ I forget that and try to do everything on my own and that is when I get discouraged and downhearted and don't feel worthy of these sweet little beings. And then I come across this verse (or the many like it in the Bible) and get refreshed and renewed knowing that HE called me to be my 3 guys' mom and that HE will do it through me!

So...................... what are you're verses?

thoughts for today

I know I don't have many readers, but I still want to hear those of you who do ~

What are your marriage verses?

Today, I have been married 10 years and a day! And like I said in my last blog post, there have been many ups and downs. The biggest challenge that our marriage has survived, I would probably say, is when I had my stroke.
I COULDN'T remember anything about my life. I woke up to the face of a man I didn't know. I looked in a mirror and couldn't remember my name. I COULDN'T REMEMBER ANYTHING.
How scary is that. It was uber scary. It was hard for Jesse to hear the E.R. doc say that I just had a break with reality and was just insane (clinically insane). No other tests, just wanted to committ me to a state mental facility. SCARY.
Scary for Jesse to check me out of the hospital AMA and the next day, the ONLY thing he could do was put me on an airplane by myself to my parents. He couldn't go with me ~ he was still in Marine Corps MOS training and they wouldn't let him leave or live off base. He couldn't let me live by myself in my house, so he had to just totally trust God and get me back to my parents. And it was weird and scary for me.
Scary, knowing that more than likely he wouldn't see me for months and worrying how that would affect our relationship. Not that it mattered to me, I didn't remember so I was weirdly glad to go. Then it was awkard and weird as I walked past my own mother in the airport, hearing someone (my mom) yelling a name (mine) down the terminal and just thinking hope she finds whoever. Well, she did and it was me!
Weird living with people I didn't know. I pretty much stayed in the room they let me stay in.
I cannot even begin to explain everything I went through.
All I know is that I didn't want to stay married to someone I didn't know or who even made the effort to get to know the apparently "new" me. At one point ~ I told him I was done, and that I was securing an attorney to end this disaster of a WEIRD marriage and free him. By this time, we had just found out I was pregnant with Xavier. My pastor's wife at the time ~ such a Godsent blessing she was for me, she didn't know who I "used" to be, therefore, just accepted who I was then ~ she prayed with and for me so much and just encouraged me to just seek God.
So it was after I told Jesse I was done, that Jesse told me, Okay, but I will always be there to take care of you and the baby. He's such an awesome man. I was so mean and nasty and cruel to him and he just loved me and tried his best to keep up a brave face and be supportive of WHATEVER I wanted. But, he was going to uphold his vows ~ for better for worse, in sickness and in health. I will always love him for that.
But I was reading my Bible one night in Ephesians and I found the verses that encouraged me to stay married to this stranger to me. Which the first verse is our wedding anniversary!
Eph. 2:19-22

Now therefore ye are no more strangers and foreigners, but fellowcitizens with the saints, and of the household of God; And are built upon the foundation of the apostles and prophets, Jesus Christ himself being the chief corner stone; In whom all the building fitly framed together groweth unto an holy temple in the Lord: In whom ye also are builded together for an habitation of God through the Spirit.

We weren't strangers ~ in Christ, we are of the same household of God. And as such, we ~ Jesse and I and our marriage ~ were put together by HIM. And as such, it didn't matter what happened to us, God put us together and as long as we kept HIM the chief cornerstone, our marriage was fitly framed together to be an Holy habitation for HIM. That through us, HE might get all the praise and glory and Honor HE so richly deserves.

We are far from perfect, but we get each other and that is all that counts! But I am so thankful for God giving me those verses (which are GREATLY out of context for marriage to anyone but me ;) ). And I am ever so grateful for a loving, kind, faithful-to-his-vows husband that he has been!

So ................... what are your marriage verses?!

So, do you know where you were 10 years ago?

I DO!!!!!!!! That's right, I was at my wedding rehearsal (get it, I DO!) ;)
There was this horrible blizzard. People were driving in from NY and from Indiana and from Wisconsin. And alot couldn't make it. Jesse's roomate from College Clifton Lewis was supposed to be a groomsman and he couldn't make it. Jesse's aunt and uncles and grandmother was supposed to be driving in from NY, but Gramma got ill and they had to turn around. AND IT WAS COLD AND SNOWY! My sister barely made it from Wisconsin. The night before, Jesse's best man and groomsman (his 2 best friends growing up) were flying in and the weather was awful so they got diverted or they were put on a different airline or something so Jeff and Matt were wandering in O'Hare and Jesse and seth couldn't find them! Who gets married in winter anyways!

But it was fun! I had a grand time. And it was beautiful.
My theme was simple ~ I loved the Kim Anderson figures, so that was my cake topper, toasting glasses, cake knife and where I gotthe idea for my colors.
My colors were silver black and red. The groomsmen, fathers, and ushers were in Black tux's with silver ties, vests and red rose boutinierres (sp?). My bridesmaids wore black velvet tops with a simple silver skirt and carried single red roses.
I'm a musician, so I had that little detail planned out ~ way in advance. I made the pianist a book and put in it every song I wanted played in the prelude, processional specials and recessionals. The mothers walked in on Brians Song (the one from the movie of the football star), the bridesmaids walked in to Anne's theme (from Anne of Green Gables) and I of course to the bridal march. I had 3 songs sung in the wedding. From this Moment ~ friends of ours sang it. Jesse and I sang Jim Brickman's Destiny ( :') ) and I wrote a song and sang it to Jesse!
It was a VERY lovely wedding.

The reception was done in TONS of white icicle lights and was just a cake and punch reception. We wanted it to be SHORT. But we were requested to open gifts before we left which TOTALLY dragggggggggggggggggged it out. So, unlike what we wanted to , we didn't get to leave till around 10:30ish pm. YUCK. but oh, well!




Looking back at pictures of where we were back then ~ skinny scrawny "babies" to where we are now, it makes me smile. It's been a very rough 10 years. Lots has happened. Mostly good things, some not so good. But I am so thankful for all those steps ~ sure and steady, to the unstable and scary.

And here we are 10 years later. Still together. Still like (let alone, LOVE) each other. Not as young or inexperienced or green as we once were, but older and hopefully a little wiser and able to roll with the punches a little better.
10 years is a long time ~ we've been married for a stinkin' DECADE. WOW! But what's even more amazing is that I can't wait to be married to him for another 10 decades!!!!!!!!!! Oh, how I love him. I'm very grateful that he chose to marry me!
My friend, the one I laugh with, live for, dream with, love.

Saturday Evening Post

No, seriously, this is a post on this Saturday Evening :D

You know, it seems like we are always so busy, but then we get to the end of the week and look back, and see that it doesn't seem like ANYTHING got done! Such a horrible feeling, but that's life.

I've decided I was gonna get on some sort of schedule. To include menu's and cleaning! And I think if I have my checklist checked off ~ be it a physical list or mental to do list ~ I think that just MAYBE I will feel a little more successful in my day in day out life.

There's so much that I have to post about, but at this moment am unable to do so, whether it be from lack of time, or that it's a private family matter. I just want so badly to be able to just blog about it all! But, maybe in time, things will work themselves out.

We are doing good. Jesse is enjoying his job, but doesn't feel as fulfilled in it as he would like to be. He truly misses being a "real cop" (his words, not mine). But, doesn't mind the job he has as it's a job, and he pretty much gets to watch tv and get paid to do so! He is by all means not complaining about actually having a job! I told him the other day as I finally got him to help me get some cleaning going in the house that since I know what he does all evening, I don't feel bad one iota to ask him to wash a dish or two! Man, does he ever have a great job! I sure do wish I could log my tv time and get paid for it!!!! J/K. I wouldn't make much these days!

Xavier is doing well in school. He can't wait to be done, but what kid can!!!!
Tucker is dreading the thought of school next year. So I think it may just be a struggle with him. I'm considering taking him to the doctor and asking about speech therapy as we have been working with him and can't quite seem to get him to pronounce his words like he should. He gets quite frustrated with us, and sometimes I hate pushing him that hard. But know I have to. Which is why it would be great to get him in therapy.
Gunner, boy, is that kid a pistol. I told him that the other day, and wise guy Xav said And that's why his name is Gunner. *Epiphany* Crap, I did this to my kid! You know they say that kids grow into their names. I wasn't fully expecting that! His first name and middle initial is Gunner E. As in Gunnery Sgt. I hoped that would be a good ........uh, er,......... omen (? ~ not really that superstitious) for a future military career, but apparently, it just means that he's going to be a handful and full of energy while young!!!!!!!! He wears me out, that one! I have my days that I say ~ "Child, you drive the desire for any more kids far FAR away", but then, there are those other days where when I escape to the bathroom ( yes, I do just go in there to close the door and expect some semblance of privacy, but rarely do I get it from him) just to sit on the closed toilet and read a riveting book and he comes barreling in dragging his favorite blankie, grinning from ear to ear and waving like a madman. When he gets to me, he'll do an about face, back up into my legs and expect to sit on my lap and be read to. TTTOOOOOO SUPER DUPER CUTE. But I never read to him (well, there anyways), and I just breathe a heavy LOUD sigh of resignation and leave the quiet of that room and go take care of everything else in the house! And usually will wind up playing with him! He is so frustratingly adorable!
And then there's me. I've been wanting for some time to start making stuff and having my own primitive country decor store. So I've been practicing my painting. And I gotta say, I'm pretty much talentless in that area. But I always have fun with Xav and Tuck cause when I buy paint supplies for me, I buy for them too, and after the redheaded pistol gets put to bed, we have craft painting parties! It's fun! They pretty much do better than me! But I'm not jealous!
Anywho...................That's pretty much all that is going on in the McCoy family, well, about all I can share right now!
I think I may just well indulge myself tonight and go eat several scoops of ice cream and a few dozen sugar cones! TTYL!

A wonderful Lady I miss

It's been a while, and this won't be too lengthy cause it seems these days are so busy for me, doing what I don't rightly know!

Today is a day that I wish I were somewhere else. A very dear lady to me ~ Mrs. Carole Hanson ~ passed away Thursday morning, and her visitation is this afternoon, and her funeral is tomorrow. I wish I were there. In south Florida. But I can't. And that makes me very sad.
Mrs. Hanson was one of the deacons wives in our church in Pembroke Pines. But she was more than that. She was the Harvesters sunday school teacher ~ when she was gone (on vacation or just not available), I had the privelege of subbing for her sometimes. But she was also our ladies meeting ministry head. She was also an encouragement, to not only me but every woman who had the pleasure of crossing her path.
I can't recall ever hearing a negative thing come out of her mouth! She was such an awesome example of a Godly wife, and mother ~ I felt some kinship with her as she also had 3 ornery boys! She gave great wife/mother advice! I loved hearing her tell her stories about the struggles she had learning to be submissive or learning to be a better mom! It was always so evident in her life that she was a Christian and that she wanted to be better at it!
She loved music. For every theme in our ladies meetings she always came to me asking to choose a song for that quarters theme. She loved to sing. She also chose some beautiful songs to sing in groups and there's one thing I regret ~ she asked me at one point to transpose a song for her, and I never got around to doing it, but she never got on my case about it.
She had such a heart for children. You know, some people, as they get older get to where they don't like kids as much as they used to. Not her, I think the older she got, the more she loved being around them. I'm proud that I was able to work with her on things like sunday school stuff and vacation bible school. She is one of the women I emulate on so many levels.
And on this day, I wish I was able to be down in Florida with my church framily that I love and able to share in the grief and celebration of such an amazing woman. I miss her. I have found myself weeping off and on since she graduated to glory. I know she wouldn't want any of us to weep, but our hearts grieve that her presence is no longer able to be physically with us. I am so grateful for her legacy of love and faith that she leaves behind her. And I am rejoicing to know that she is with the Saviour she loved so much. And I admit, I'm a bit envious that she got to spend this Lord's day in HIS presence. Such a precious thought! She is in glory worshipping at HIS feet today. And I know that she is glorifying HIM for all HE has done for her! But I miss her! And I will! And I miss her family! They are very dear to my heart! If any of you read this, please know that my thoughts and love and prayers are with you all throughout this day and the next and so on!
Mrs. Hanson ~ we who come behind you ~ FIND YOU FAITHFUL!!!!!!!!!!!!

A song that I have been singing alot lately:

Heaven's Sounding Sweeter all the Time

Life has been so good, I can't complain....
When I'm down, God gives me strength to rise again....
I get weary from the struggle of it all...
That's when I listen, how I listen for His call....

Heaven’s sounding sweeter all the time
Seems like lately, it’s always on my mind
Someday, I’ll leave this world far behind
Heaven’s sounding sweeter all the time

Oh, it's hard to lose a loved one to the grave...
But we have the blessed hope that Jesus gave....
God's will wipe the tears from our eyes...
When we meet in that land beyond the skies....

Heaven’s sounding sweeter all the time
Seems like lately, it’s always on my mind
Someday, I’ll leave this world far behind
Heaven’s sounding sweeter all the time


*okay, I just tried to post a youtube video of the song ~ here's the link ~ copy and paste it if you'd like to hear it!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kFXFLFOgurI